What to do with a Husband who has Emotional Affair with Co-worker

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Chat Transcript of the Q & A

Glad you are here. Feel free to add your questions or comments.

2:58 PM

John (to All):

Hi Dr Bob, I can not talk tonight, my wife is still in the home but having an ongoing affair at work, any advice?

2:58 PM

Todd (to All):

I would like to ask you this week how to start not focusing on the things of the affair that I know now how to keep it from being the focal points of my everyday life what are things I can do to try and get it off my mind

3:00 PM

AJ (to All):

yes

3:00 PM

EF (to All):

yes

3:00 PM

Safa (to All):

yes

3:00 PM

CSB (to All):

yes

3:06 PM

Safa (to All):

will a request for separation and divorce be the ultimate test to see if the cheater will come around?

3:06 PM

Mary (to All):

My spouse is back home n the home again, but extremely critical. I think he is feeling guilty about his affair and he seems to be doing more “alpha male” behaviors. explanation?

3:10 PM

Todd (to All):

ok

3:12 PM

Bridgette (to All):

im the cheater. 10 yrs ago! im doing everything I can to ahow how sorry I am. I give him his space and sleep on the couch. what else can I do? I dont argue or cause any issues. we have been married 22 yrs!

3:14 PM

Safa (to All):

yes thanks!

3:15 PM

Courtney Collins (PRIVATE):

Can access the phone line, it keeps ringing and ringing.

3:15 PM

Courtney Collins (PRIVATE):

Can’t

3:16 PM

Mary (to All):

No, not #2, he says he feels he is not respected

3:17 PM

jmack (to Presenter):

My wife’s affair was 10 years ago. She just revealed it 1 year ago. (23 years married) Is it any easier to recover than an affair recently discovered. I’m seriously struggling after a year.

3:18 PM

Bridgette (to All):

yes…

3:18 PM

jmack (to All):

My wife’s affair was 10 years ago. She just revealed it 1 year ago. Is it any easier to recover than an affair recently discovered. I’m seriously struggling after a year.

3:19 PM

Bridgette (to All):

ok…

3:19 PM

jmack (to All):

BTW 23 years of marriage

3:19 PM

Bridgette (to All):

yes

3:19 PM

Dia (PRIVATE):

I already gave the ultimatum and he moved out and went to live with the ow. For a short time he hinted that he would like to come back and I told him to to describe how that would work. I locked him out of the home and cancelled our credit card. Then he moved to another town for work. Recently he came back to town and told me that he split from her but found someone to give him a place to live. He didn’t say it was another affair. He told our son that he is getting a passport so we think he plans to go on to his next idea – which was to go to the Philippines and meet up with a friend who lives there with a younger woman. My husband is 61; his dad died in October 2016; he started his affair in December; he moved out in Feb 2107. I feel that my marriage is drifting our of my hands and he never told me what was wrong with it or why he went to another woman. Or why he doesn’t come back. 25 years of marriage. :(

3:20 PM

Mary (to All):

He is very controlling by nature, and resents me having any opinion different from his. He is, Hoover, trying to do a few helpful things around the home. In our entire marriage of forty nine years, he has never once apologized fir anything!

3:20 PM

Todd (to All):

the question to Bridgette though as my wife also did this is why did she have the affair maybe that’s what he struggles with as I do

3:20 PM

EF (to All):

Found my husband involved in emotional affair with a co-worker. When I found out the next day he came to me and said he was very sorry just got carried away in a friendship and that he wanted our marriage. He still works with her which is very hard any suggestons how to cope with this as it is making the healing process harder for me

3:22 PM

jmack (to All):

bipolar episode

3:24 PM

Dia (PRIVATE):

I guess I want to know what I should do now. Can I do anything or do I just release him to his madness?

3:25 PM

EF (to All):

thank you.

3:26 PM

Bridgette (to All):

Todd, I let him take his time and dont force him to go on as normal. I know its hard for both of us. I just show him better than I can tell him. At this point Todd the why doesnt matter any more. He’s not interested in that, only that I did it.

3:28 PM

Dia (PRIVATE):

I am scared of that idea, but I have little to lose

3:29 PM

Bridgette (to All):

Todd you can email me. mybuddyj@yahoo.com

3:29 PM

Safa (to All):

So she cheated on me but can’t / won’t feel my pain and therefore not making the effort to make amends. what if I cheat on the cheater?

3:31 PM

Dia (PRIVATE):

Thank you.

3:31 PM

John (to All):

similar to jmac. married since 2003, she had an affair with her boss in 2009, I found out this past May. I stumbled across proof so she never planned to tell me. I’m having trouble trusting anything she tells me and spend a lot of time playing the”scenes” in my mind. how do we get them to stop?

3:32 PM

EF (to All):

thank you!

3:32 PM

jmack (to All):

thank you sir

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One Response to What to do with a Husband who has Emotional Affair with Co-worker

  1. Matthew says:

    1- Almost every one has the experience to cheat or to be cheated but noone accepts it for him/ herself easily.

    2- Unless we are unaware of infidelity, everything is fine. Another words when everything seems fine it does not mean it is really fine!

    3- once it happens, that means we figure it out completely, the best solution is to finishing the relationship without any doubt and ASAP.

    4- Almost no one can forgive and forget it but some think they may because of a temporary reason.

    5- Almost all will terminate the relationship after proven affair. But some later and some sooner. Actually the relationship is expired.

    6- learn to put some criteria for your next relationship to prevent cheating and do not forget that you must follow the criteria also!

    7- The world is full of romantic lovers who claim they Love and then they totally find at least a better option.Do not trust things that you hear rapidly. Cognition process is endless.

    The sooner you finish an expired relationship the sooner you will find your stability. It is very hard but it’s life that you have to accept hardest things as your own death and of course your own bad behaviors against other people.

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