How Coaching Can Help You
By Dr. Bob Huizenga
I’m really good at coaching – either on the phone or skype.
You don’t realize how hard it is for me to say that.
I was painfully shy as a child and hated it when attention was focused on me. (Maybe that’s one reason why I chose a career of helping others… hmmmmm?)
But, I’ve come to realize that I am an expert at coaching individuals and couples.
I must admit this.
I must let you know, for coaching is my gift and my contribution.
I must give you the opportunity to commit to coaching with me.
I often hang up the phone after a call with this deep sense of satisfaction, like I truly connected with another human being or a couple at a level that is vitally important and truly LIFE giving.
And, I’m a good coach because I’ve paid my dues. I have 6 years of post graduate study and two years of internship and hundreds of hours of supervision in the field of human, marital and family development. I’ve logged over 25,000 hours of client care in my private practice as a Marriage and Family Therapist.
I’m curious. I’m a life long learner. Each new coaching client or couple offer me an opportunity not only to give of my experience and expertise, but to learn. Each person, each couple has something unique to live and give and I’m honored to be part of that. In being part of their process, I learn; I become a more complete person and coach.
From my experience and dedication you can be expect that as a Coach:
- I will provide a safe place for you (and perhaps your partner.) You will have an environment to be fearlessly YOU. This safe place will invite you to experience calm, peace, validation and personal confidence.
- I will help you formulate words and phrases (in new, fresh and non confrontational ways) to share with your partner that bring about resolution and reconnection without ultimatums, drama or wimping out.
- I will help you understand and even appreciate the hidden meaning beneath your partner’s distinctive words and actions. You will begin to realize that their problem is not your problem. In understanding you will feel compassion and no longer have a need to react.
- I will enable you to get to CORE issues and patterns quickly. We, with a deep sense of care, cut to the chase quickly. We peer beneath the old ways and target the underling fears, anger, needs and concerns. Once spoken they lose their power. Identifying the CORE issue(s) usually takes 15 minutes. No need to talk your problems to death.
- I will be your fiercest ally while holding a deep respect for you partner or spouse. I will advocate for you in ways that honor your personal power and the integrity of those closest to you.
- I will help you measure your progress, so you maintain your commitment and enthusiasm for life changes. We will break down progress into smaller steps so you are grounded in what is possible.
- I will help you relearn love, marriage and relationships. A new world of love, marriage and relationships will open to you, no long shackled by fear based thoughts but now open to a love that is deep, fearless and lasting.
The mechanics of coaching are very simple.
I typically call you for a half hour session once a week. We may meet more frequently if you are in crisis. We may meet less if you move past the crisis and are in learning mode. Some “bank” their sessions until triggered by old feelings and patterns.
The half hour sessions come with or without email privileges. Email privileges allow you to email me between sessions with questions, comments or a need for input and guidance.
That’s about it.
Sign up for a package Below. I will email you, usually within one business day to set up the first session.
Those I’ve coached often give very positive feedback, i.e. “I wish I would have had coaching earlier. It would have saved a great deal of confusion and heartbreak.”
Is coaching really helpful…. ?
Read what others say about Coaching.
30 ways coaching was helpful:
- Confirmation or validation of thoughts/feelings and the relief of being able to discuss the situation with a professional.
- The lessening of pain.
- Support from someone who gets it -availability -great resource material that has become a bible.
- Helped gain my emotional & mental strength.
- Better prepared mentally for what happens next, what might happen next.
- Helped me better understand & possibly interpret what what was said during conversations/email/arguments with spouse.
- It was good to bounce off feelings and thoughts. Most important to me was the “feeling” that I was being supported by an expert in the field.
- As I reacted to my wife it was valuable to check in and see if my reactions were valid.
- I felt that Dr. Huizenga had a great deal of empathy with me and helped me to feel calm.
- I became more ’empowered’ with my situation and adapted my behavior according to what worked best.
- My approach with my husband became less confrontational.
- I was able to stay more focused. There were issues I really wanted to discuss with my husband, but couldn’t. However, I could bring them up during coaching sessions, and we could actually talk (with Bob’s help of course).
- The one benefit that I didn’t expect was the anticipation of my coaching appointment. It felt like the days between could be handled with what I had learned as I had a destination point to look forward to.
- When I would talk through different situations, the re-enforcement that Bob would give me about the actual power that I didn’t realize I was using, gave me the freedom to acknowledge and accept that power so it grew and was even more a part of me.
- I felt more confident as I moved through the situation I was dealing with.
- I felt more in control and more proactive in the situation.
- I had tools to deal with my husband and even phrases to say which helped me deliver what I needed to say.
- I appreciated the listening aspect of your coaching and you are very good at reiterating and more clearly defining what I said.
- I found it most helpful when you would offer your insight on the situation.
- I know you can’t predict what will happen but using your experience to tell me what you see happening in my husbands actions and words helped me to see it better. Sometimes the glimmers of hope that I have get in the way of seeing the bigger picture clearly.
- It was really great to have someone with so much experience so easily available to provide support and CONCRETE suggestions.
- It was the understanding and listening and letting me know that I was doing all I could do and it wasn’t my fault.
- Someone to suggest things to do and say to them.
- Someone I could lean on and knew I was good person and not nuts like they try to make you believe.
- Understanding that I was not alone. Could be told what was “normal.”
- I had someone with knowledge of how to get me to figure out what I want to do and how to go about it.
- I learned the exact words to share with my partner to express what I was trying to say. this was especially helpful as I was trying to do the work needed to successfully confront our problem.
- Helped me understand my wife’s personality type and why she was behaving as she was.
- Gave me confidence and strategies to realize there was life after my wife’s leaving me.
- Helped me to accept that I had done all I could to save the marriage but that sometimes despite this you cannot alter what the other person has decided.
Choose a package below.
I look forward to serving you.
Dr. Bob Huizenga
Once you sign up, I will contact you
for your first coaching session.
Someone wrote and asked if I coach the “other person?” Yes, I do. I coach all involved parties. My style is not to impose “rightness or wrongness”, but move toward understanding, self-care and self-respect, resolution of what is not working, and finally, create a wonderful life and healthy intimate relationships that are ultimately “affair proof.”
I look foward to hearing from you,
Dr. Bob Huizenga
I very much look forward to talking with you. The 30 minute session once a week is becoming such a precious time for me to find MYSELF. I would like to cope with this situation so that I can become wiser and stronger. I would like to believe that the adversity is the best school.
The explanations you give are usually right on. You seem to know what I’m feeling. Each time I talk to you I feel stronger and stronger.
I received support from someone who gets it.
At last somebody who was giving practical advice, somebody who called a spade, a spade, somebody who, above all, never gave up on me and understood my dilemma.
Most important to me was the “feeling” that I was being supported by an expert in the field.
Following up on what we talked about in our coaching session… When I told my husband that I could see that he was feeling uncomfortable with what I was saying and that he was clearly troubled with his situation there was a glimmer in his eye which registered that he was almost relieved that I understood. It was important to me at the time.
I looked forward to my coaching appointment. It felt like the days between could be handled with what I had learned as I had a destination point to look forward to.
I had tools to deal with my husband and even phrases to say which helped me deliver what I needed to say.
You are very good at reiterating and more clearly defining what I said.
I learned the exact words to share with my partner to express what I was trying to say. this was especially helpful as I was trying to do the work needed to successfully confront our problem.
writing the letter and then finally giving it to my husband was the most powerful thing i did as a result of the coaching experience.
Factual, intelligent information and advice for those seeking resolution to marital issues using the highest of emotional intelligence.