Cheating Husband’s Emotional Attachment to Sister

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Chat Transcript of the Q & A

Glad you are here. Feel free to add your questions or comments.

3:00 PM

AJ (to All):

yes

3:00 PM

Bridgette (to All):

yes

3:01 PM

Chris (to All):

yes

3:02 PM

Scott (to All):

dr. bob, do you have a professional opinion on how much more difficult it is in dealing with recovery from an affair with a spouse recently diagnosed with adult add, bi-polar and probably borderline personality disorder? is the risk of relapse much higher when these conditions are present? TU

3:02 PM

Todd (to All):

so since sex is usually what an affair is about how do you rekindle and try and share sex with your partner now without the fears of you doing same thing they searched for and help them remember their experience

3:04 PM

Chris (to All):

my husband claims it was just a sexual affair but the email I found and texts that I saw tell a different story. plus she was a family friend. hard to believe he is over her? I do I trust again? how do I know he isn’t still thinking about her?

3:04 PM

Todd (to All):

I guess question is how to make it special again between the two of us not just using the other like was what was being done in the affair

3:06 PM

steve (to All):

Been patiently ‘charging neutral’ for months without any noticeable changes in my wife’s behavior. I know the affair has continued and she has been seeing a therapist on her own and has committed to making a decision by the end of the year if she wants to re-commit to our marriage. I recently found a draft of a letter she is writing to ask me for a divorce. She doesn’t know I saw it and she hasn’t given it to me yet. Should I confront her with it or continue to just let it play out?

3:06 PM

Scott (to All):

yes, that was what i was concerned about.

3:06 PM

Chris (to All):

how do I know he really wants to be with me and not only because divorces are expensive?

3:06 PM

Scott (to All):

tu

3:07 PM

Todd (to All):

yes but a big part of what happens it seems

3:08 PM

Todd (to All):

yes

3:09 PM

Todd (to All):

the trigger is just about I’m afraid now she no longer wants me for that

3:11 PM

Todd (to All):

ok

3:12 PM

Chris (to All):

sure

3:16 PM

Mary (to All):

Mary checking in. My spouse has been showing a few signs of recommitting to our relationship, but is also saying he wants to buy an airline ticket to check on a property in FL (possible hurricane damage) – in the past, he used excuses like this to visit the “other person” in NC. This is making me anxious, and we have had NO dialogue about the affair (two years involvement). I do see signs it may be ending, as he is doing more work around our home. Previously, he said he was moving out. Any thoughts on how I might relieve my suspicions/concerns in th

3:17 PM

Mary (to All):

the absence of any conversations. Zero intimacy in our relationship now – he avoids ANY physical contact, including hugs, touches.

3:27 PM

steve (to All):

Harboring very little – have told her just about everything in a very calm manor. I bought all your stuff

3:28 PM

steve (to All):

Sounds good .

3:30 PM

Mary (to All):

Bob, pls repeat instructions!

3:30 PM

Chris (to All):

Yu!

3:31 PM

Chris (to All):

TU!

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