Following are 17 conditions that should be met in order to create a strong, unbreakable, emotional connection with your spouse or lover.
1. I want to have respect, and not insult or speak sarcastically when I feel anger towards my spouse.
2. I want to express my anger truthfully and respectfully.
3. I want to act like an adult, not a child, when I’m upset.
4. I want to listen carefully to my partner’s point of view when we disagree.
5. I want to avoid pushing my spouse’s buttons.
6. I want to apologize if I’ve blown it.
7. I want to admit my mistakes and apologize for negative consequences.
8. I want to honor my spouse and not patronize.
9. I want us to resolve problems quickly and easily and learn from them.
10. I want to value my relationship more than my need to be right.
11. I want to do everything to contribute to our relationship success.
12. I want to trust my partner in doing his/her best to succeed.
13. I want to support and encourage my partner to reach his/her goals.
14. I want to find satisfaction in making his/her life easier and more enjoyable.
15. I want to be able to collaborate when it’s important, not compete.
16. I want to be comfortable with how our common interests fit.
17. I want to have a balance between being close and independent.