Surviving Infidelity Series: A Christian Deals with Infidelity
I found out one day that my wife had was “in love” with someone else and wanted to leave me. Further she wanted to take my son (5) and daughter(2) whom I adore. I was strong for a while thinking I could win her over and convince her to stay but eventually I had a breakdown ending up in hospital. I was unable to do much for myself or my kids due to the extreme anxiety and depression which had manifested itself. I prayed for help but critically I also took steps to help myself recover. The urge to save myself and the kids was stronger than the condition I was in but only just. Critically I know God helped me though this wont help anyone unless they have that faith. My recovery from this acute condition was aggressive as described by family. There came a point where I realized that Gods power does not work until you express faith in it by taking action, “especially” when the chips are down. I have moved beyond recovery from infidelity to overcome a longstanding dependency on antidepressants. I have realized I can control my own emotional problems by refusing to entertain fears and doubts. Also too anger from what I perceive as injustices committed against me. I have found that these types of thoughts are endemic to humanity therefore requiring awareness, vigilance and personal resolve to exclude them from ones mindset. As Jesus Christ said, “The devil is like a roaring lion roaming around looking for someone to devour, but resist him and he will flee from you”. It takes time to become strong in this regard but the more resolve one has the faster it happens. My children were a good reason amongst others to push the case along briskly. I love my children and my wife (from a distance) and often I feel more love for them now than I ever remember before. I will not let anger prevail and it is simple to alleviate this problem. Anger will poison every relationship you have and deny you so many pleasures in life. Don’t let anger steal from you for one more day. Even if you are living a better life than the other who has cheated you you should know that what you have in life including your wisdom is all given to you by grace. You have not deserved it even if you have desired it. Nobody has earned the right to condemn another so you can put away anger and remember the injustices you committed against others instead. Then be glad too God has forgiven for what you did (of no use to you also unless you have that faith). Remember too that the cheater who has wronged you is guilty of what they have done even if their guilt is repressed (ie. seems absent but actually hidden below the surface). Whether repressed or not their guilt is stealing away their peace and joy. Also how do you know that one day they wont be healed of their affliction and rise up to take the better life that they have let evil steal away from them. It can happen. Do you want to be left in their wake if they do, still struggling with bitterness over something way in the past. It is possible to be in love with yourself and others and to feel free from the emotional ups and downs of this world. Though worldly things do bring joy to us all it is better to live in anticipation of an eternal life and work on the things that may prepare us for that ie love, forgiveness, honesty etc etc and also of course as already mentioned ridding your life of fear doubt and anger etc. Then we can be not so needy in regard to the things of our physical world ie relationships, money etc. Then we can live in this world as though not engrossed in it and being not such a victim of it. The world is an adverse environment. This is a stark fact. But we can overcome it to an extent if we desire. I would urge anybody suffering from infidelity to pray for help and guidance then too be aware of its arrival. Trust your instincts and have the courage to act on your convictions. This is a recipe for a miracle or two or many in your life and your realization of these will lift up your faith higher and higher. Trust in the Lord Jesus who you can read about in the New Testament.