Surviving Infidelity Series: Sorting Through Feelings with Friends

Here are some comments from those who in surviving infidelity found family and friends helpful.

I think being around people you can talk to is important. People who will just listen. It helps you to sort through all the confusion. I thought I was crazy at first and some people make you feel that way. But when people let you sort through your feelings and the actions behind them that are happening to you, 2 + 2 starts to = 4. You go through a lot of emotions with the pain and it takes a very long time for all the craziness inside of you to subside. I used to count the times each day that my mood would change.

The affair I discovered my husband was having with the wife of our closest friends. I suspected something was between them about 10 years ago, but my husband denied everything and I did not bring it up with her. Over the time I convinced myself that there was something between them for a little while but they stopped it. After I discovered emails my husband wrote to her that revealed the deepest feelings he had to her, I could not breath. For me it was a double betrayal - from him and her, whom I considered to be my friend and spend all the time together. I confronted my husband who tried to minimize the situation and actually never honestly admitted anything.We had talked for hours in the first couple days, going back to when we got married (28 years). My husband was devastated when I told him we can no longer see her and her husband. He was seeing that as the end of his world, his life. He questioned what we will say to out friends, children when they ask what happened. He has an extremely strong emotional connectionstrong emotional connection to her for the last 10 years! He denied having sex with her, saying it was not relevant. What helped me in that time was talking to my friendstalking to my friends who were all very supportive to me. Just talking it thru helped a lot. In the beginning I was seeing that as a probable new beginning for us, the chance to start new relationship, and it made me hopeful for a new beginning.