Infidelity Recovery: Should You Force Counseling on Your Husband?
When is counseling a good idea in infidelity recovery?
It shouldn’t be a shock to hear that when it comes to infidelity recovery, women are more open to the idea of going to counseling and therapy when trying to work on the marriage, especially after infidelity occurs.
It is a general belief that men usually go against the idea of going to counseling to talk about their marital problems, especially with infidelity recovery.
Here are some thoughts on why infidelity recovery is difficult for men:
1. Men like to keep things to themselves. They have a hard time when it comes to expressing their feelings and thoughts. They think that women are the experts on that area, and they don’t want to seem inadequate. And they believe that talking about their problems and things like that with a total stranger isn’t something that they should do, and isn’t something that they want to do.
2. Men like to think things through rather than talk about them, even with infidelity recovery. They internalize, think about their problems and issues by themselves, and try to come up with solution all on their own. They aren’t really keen on saying out loud what their problems are and how they feel about those problems, which what counseling is to them.
3. Men are direct, to-the-point problem solvers. They look at the problem as what it is, think of solutions to that problem, and execute that solution. They don’t dwell or over-analyze things. When they see a problem, they think of a solution to fix it. If one solution doesn’t work, they try out another. Going in for marital therapy, in most cases, isn’t as helpful or fulfilling for them as it is for women.
It is common for people to think that with couples who are going through extramarital affair crises, men are the only ones who shy away from counseling or marital therapy as a means of infidelity recovery. What they don’t know is that women can be just as unpredictable when it comes to this issue, and more and more of them are beginning to show this trait.
But the reality is that being open about your feelings or not has nothing to do with gender. Just as there are men who internalize everything, there are women as well. And, just as there are women who are open about their feelings, there are also men. People just handle their problems and feelings differently in infidelity recovery. This is what is referred to as polarization.
This is when one person in a couple tends to keep things on the inside more than the other. And it’s a problem that you should definitely try to find a solution to. You and your partner will not be able to effectively move forward unless you address this issue and find a way around it. Counseling may not be the best idea initially, and you should look into ways that you can develop your relationship and make it more open before considering that option.
Addressing this problem and acknowledging that it exists should be your first step because you can never truly move forward in infidelity recovery if you don’t.