RebuilDiscover how to Rebuild and Sustain Trust and Intimacyding Hope – Will You EVER Trust Again?
Discover how to Rebuild and Sustain Trust and Intimacy
Hello! Dr. Huizenga here.
The new material in the Silver Package focuses on trust. Trust is HUGE for the thousands I’ve touched over the years online and I assume it it HUGE for you. Are you able to trust him/her if you are rebuilding the marriage? Will s/he do it again? And, how do you know? And, if the marriage is destroyed, will you be able to trust yourself in finding a more deeply intimate relationship?
Here are common problems and questions most encounter with trust:
- I don’t trust him/her – even when s/he is doing what is good and right.
- Will I trust again or am I doomed to life of loneliness, suspicion and fear?
- I can’t trust my self. I’m filled with doubt. I feel lost.
- I only give my self to a degree. I hold back fearful of criticism, judgment, deception, and betrayal. I hate that!
- Will I ever find a great relationship. What is it about me?
- I continually focus on him/her and wonder what s/he/s up to? I don’t have a life!
- I no longer have an inner compass to guide me. My world is totally different and strange.
- We seem to be on different page. S/he easily backs away.
- S/he seems closed, off somewhere and I’m always the one to initiate.
- If it is good now. will we backslide?
- How do I know if it is REALLY good? Or, am I being a fool (deceived) again?
- I miss what I had and wonder I EVER will feel joy and happiness again.
You Will NEVER Go Back
Coping with infidelity offers a new beginning? Stick with me and you will begin to see that.
No, you will more than see that. You will begin to feel a smidgen of enthusiasm as you grasp the power of YOU starting over and creating the life and relationship you TRULY want.
I’m here to guide you in that process.
Are you ready?
You will never go back!
And, I don’t want you to go back.
You must go forward, you will go forward and you CAN go forward.
Guess what? It will be easier and more exciting and more rewarding than you now think possible.
Don’t be afraid, Ok?
Build Trust and Hope So It’s Rock Solid
Are you determined to build a new foundation? Are you ready to tear down what was and see the possibilities for creating a new life?
I certainly hope so.
And, if you aren’t now…if the pain and fear still hold onto you, promise me you will be patient.
For the pain and fear passes as you begin in earnest this process!
There’s a story in the Bible about the man who built his house on a foundation of sand. You see, most of us build our lives and relationships on sand. (There are reasons for that, but I’ll save that for another time.)
And, of course, our houses are easily swept away with the first real crisis.
Another man built his house on rock. And, you know what happened.
This is YOUR time!
This is your time to build your life and relationship on ROCK! Hard, stable, enduring rock!
This will be the most extensive and exhilarating work you will ever do.
Are you ready?
Gosh, doesn’t it feel good to begin to feel hope? You feeling a little of it now?
I’ve created an e-book called "Marriage Makeover" that is added to the Silver Package. This is developed specifically for a coupe suffering the ravages of infidelity and the destruction of trust.
It’s been called unconventional. It’s been called cutting edge. It’s been called different.
You know why?
Because, I go to the core of what it takes to build trust and intimacy after infidelity.
Also, I think a little (sometimes a lot) differently than most. For example, you hear the phrase, "We must work on the relationship!" Well, throw that out the window. Sounds like drudgery and the death knoll for what you really want.
The Weary, Tense, Exhausted Couple
A couple came to see me (referred by another therapist who "worked on" the relationship with them for over a year) at their wits end, weary, tense and exhausted.
They sat next to each other in my office emotionally globbing all over each other telling me how they had "worked on" the relationship – using every skill written in every marriage rebuilding book – to no avail.
All I said, "Stop ‘working on’ the freaking relationship!"
The next week they came back, light, laughing, relaxed, smiling at each other.
No Magic, No Mumbo Jumbo, No Psycho-Babble
Folks, there is no magic, no mumbo jumbo here. There are specific reasons why "working on" the relationship" is doomed.
And, if you focus on the exercises in "Marriage Makeover" you will experience a transformation. Granted.
I provide you with practical, in-depth material that builds one’s foundation and the foundation of a marriage or relationship – on rock!
Once you have that foundation, you won’t waver.
Here’s what you will like about Marriage Makeover :
- Is elegantly simple, straight-forward with minimal psycho babble or "touchy-feely stuff."
- Levels the playing field. Whomever is more talkative, insightful, relationship-oriented is NOT in a one-up position.
- Helps you build trust slowly but surely. You will feel safe as you address highly important issues.
- Begins from areas of personal motivation. Each starts with than issue that is important for him/her.
- Is win-win. Each person is strengthened and empowered. The strength and power of the relationship is a secondary outcome.
- Helps avoid the "swirl" or predictable negative ways of feeling and acting with each other.
- Helps create a more "natural" way for those in close proximity (living with each other or separated but connected in other ways) to manage life together.
- Eliminates judgments and put downs.
- Moves beyond need-meeting, merely accommodating the OP, being nice, “stuffing.”
- Goes beyond confrontation, blow ups, say-it-like-it-is, dumping, getting-it-all-out, catharting, or dealing with feelings.?
- Goes beyond making amends, saying I’m sorry, expecting I’m sorry, rehashing the past, making promises that it will never happen again.
Here’s what’s possible for you to experience as a couple:
- You will experience a deepening intimacy and know how to grow it.
- You will feel more relaxed and at ease around each other.
- You will eradicate unhealthy forms of conflict.
- You will face problems head on and address them with less fear.
- You will share a mutual pride in each other.
- Attract friends, family and an environment that best nurtures the relationship and each person.
- You will learn how to manage the day to day chores of life more easily.
- You will continue to grow the sexual relationship and find points of mutual satisfaction.
What if Your Spouse is a Total Jerk?
I’ve been around the block a time or two. Naive, I’m not. I’ve faced and known intimately in private practice and online thousands of individuals and hundreds of couples.
The truth:Some couples make it. Many don’t. Sad but true.
The person having the affair if often less "developed" emotionally and relationally. And, the affair is a step backward for him/her (contrary to what you read and often public sentiment.)
If the cheating spouse ends the affair and commits to the marriage, s/he most often must "catch up" in terms of personal and relational development.
Some catch up and move ahead. Some don’t.
Now, here’s the beauty of Marriage Makeover.
You receive extraordinary benefit from this program if your spouse is a total jerk and refuses to buy in or is incapable of buying in. (And, the program is unique in its ability to get the reluctant spouse to buy in.)
Whether s/he is on board or reluctant, you move ahead and redesign your life. And, if it happens that along the way it becomes painfully obvious s/he cannot and will not keep up with your growth, you have that solid rock like foundation to move ahead without him/her.
And now with your rock like foundation, you know what is trustworthy and what is blowing hot air and you are ready for whatever relationship comes your way.
Here’s what’s in it for you, regardless of the future of your marriage:
- You will feel much more attractive and desirable. You will find and value your self to a much higher degree.
- You will lead a more balanced, more full life.
- You will accomplish more, much more easily.
- You will take better care of your self and feel healthier.
- You will feel much more alive.
- You will expect more of your self and others.
- You will be more confident and less fearful of life.
- You will feel safer and more in control of your life and environment.
Trusting your Own Experience > Trusting Others = Hope
Do you know that others going through the torment of infidelity can be your lifeline?
Here’s why.
To trust another person you must first trust yourself. You must trust that your thoughts, your feelings and your images are important, are valid and serve a purpose. They are NOT wrong.
If you are following me, you will know that most of us, when confronted by betrayal, at some consistent level, doubt our own feelings and thoughts. How can this be? I must be off here?
If you lose trust in your self, how in the world can you trust someone else? Without trusting self, your life is thrown into confusion and doubt.
OK, so how can I trust myself when the pain and distrust runs so powerfully deep?
I cannot stress this enough. The journeys of others’ experience with infidelity is like gold.
Countless infidelity sufferers over the past 8 years have contacted me telling me how crucial and lifesaving it was to connect with others going through similar experiences.
That’s why in the Silver Package we offer the 19 Live Infidelity Coaching Sessions – 19 real time coaching sessions (over 5 hours of recorded audio). In addition to the audio you receive a written summary of each session by me, explaining the dynamics of the session as well as peer reviews of each session.
Here’s what listening to the tapes can do for you:
- You will feel less alone and isolated. You will know that you are not the only one fighting your battle.
- You will see parallels. You will see common dynamics that cut across infidelity and affairs.
- You will appreciate the complexity of infidelity and merely smile when someone offers simplistic solutions.
- You will feel more alive. You will want to reach out and hug the voice you hear.
- You will confirm your thoughts and inklings. You will feel more certain you are on the right track.
- You will get a kick out of (an learn) as we brainstorm for solutions and strategies to counter the infidelity.
- You will learn to be flexible and see many more options available for your situation.
- You will feel empowered… rather than guilted or shamed.
- You will feel more human… again.
- You will feel the balance shifting… more in the direction of empowerment and hope.
- You will be certifiably assured that you are not crazy!
- Be affirmed that you are doing the best that you can do right now. No regrets.
- Learn that recovery from the affair is a process and strong feelings fit and are ok in that process.
- Realize that emotional survival can be achieved through strategy.
- Begin to realize that YOU are the WINNER!
- Empathize and feel rather than read from a distance.
- Thought through decisions bring about step by step resolution.
- Begin to view your experience from a "third person" perspective… providing relief from the pain.
Here are the stories you will be a part of:
- Crazy Behavior Addresses Craziness – audio with John
- I Want to Be Wanted: Infidelity and Breast Cancer – audio with Martha
- Overwhelm! Questions! Should I Date? – audio with Marcie
- How Do I Pull The Plug When I Care So Much? – audio with John
- Broken Promises. Broken Spirit. Broken Body – audio with Julie
- A Turning Point Changes Your World – audio with Jackye
- How Can I Compete with a 29 Year Old Blond Bombshell? – audio with Fiona
- Self Esteem and Eric’s Wife’s Predator – audio with Eric
- How Sue Catapulted Through Her 3-Week Crying Jag and Meltdown -audio with Sue
- Rebuilding Trust with a Husband who Needs “Juice” – audio with Terri
- When Sex with the OP is Horrific!- audio with Mike
- Emotionally Battered and Bruised by a Rage Affair – audio with Lynnette>
- You will NEVER Go Back to the Bliss – audio with Lisa
- Banishing Him to the Basement Works – audio with LaKeitha
- How do I Get Him to Talk? – audio with Erin
- Meeting His/Her Needs Won’t Work with a Narcissist – audio with Beck
- Why is He with a Drama Queen? – audio with Amanda
- Rage or Revenge Affair? – audio with Christine
- How Does He Flip the Intimacy Switch? – audio with David
Take My Voice With You
Download the audios to your mp3 player. Download them onto a CD.
Go for a walk…and listen.
Go for a ride…and listen.
Learn. Absorb. Become an expert in infidelity. Know that infidelity is a temporary crisis from which you CAN recover.
And, know that once you move through infidelity you forge ahead with hope and trust your newly designed life.
Grab Your Lifeline Now!
Add the Silver Package to your cart below.
In addition to "Marriage Makeover" and the "19 Live Infidelity Coaching Sessions with Dr. Huizenga" you receive ALL the material in the Bronze package plus these bonuses:
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Infidelity Recovery: Marriage Makeover:
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- Is elegantly simple, straight-forward with minimal psycho babble or "touchy-feely stuff."
- Levels the playing field. Whomever is more talkative, insightful, relationship-oriented is NOT in a one-up position.
- Helps you build trust slowly but surely. You will feel safe as you address highly important issues.
- Begins from areas of personal motivation. Each starts with than issue that is important for him/her.
- Begins from areas of personal motivation. Each starts with than issue that is important for him/her.
Is win-win. Each person is strengthened and empowered. The strength and power of the relationship is a secondary outcome.
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"21 Words, Phrases and Sentences to NEVER Say To Your Partner, Spouse or Lover"
By Relationship Coaches Susie and Otto Collins
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If you’re going to take the first step in surviving infidelity… it’s going to be incredibly important to know the right words to say and the the words you should never say in order to best survive the affair and rebuild your relationship.
Here, Susie and Otto are giving you a list of 21 of the top words and things to NOT say to your partner, spouse or lover if you want to have a close and connected relationship filled with love, respect and kindness.
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TALK Like a Winner!
21 Simple Rule for Achieving Everyday Communication Success. |
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This is a book about “private speaking” as opposed to “public speaking.” Private speaking is the effective use ofeveryday conversational skills.
It is private speaking and not public speaking which is the real secret to achieving your own potential for success and happiness. It’s the ability to interact on a personal level through effective private speaking that sets free the power and beauty that lies within each one of us for the whole world to enjoy, appreciate, and respect.
When you show a consistent pattern of excellence in how you talk, listen, evaluate, and respond, other people will become convinced of the kind of outstanding individual you truly are
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74 Stars to Shoot For… |
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Discover the characteristics of a successful marriage or relationship of investment.
74 Stars to Shoot For gives 74 behavioral characteristics from which you measure the strength and direction of your marriage.
Rate the 74 characteristics on a scale of 1-10 and share results with your spouse – a great way to build understanding and intimacy.
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Keep Your Marriage: What to do When Your Spouse says, "I Don’t Love You Anymore!" |
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This is a specially adapted abridged E-book version written for you by Nancy J Wasson, Ph.D. and Lee Hefner. Once downloaded, you will find:
- Ten Important Questions to Ask Yourself
These questions will Tell you if Saving your Marriage is possible.
- Twenty-one Mistakes You Don’t Want to Make
- Reclaim Your Marriage with These Action Steps
- Sixteen Ways to Take Care of yourself
- Twenty-five Ways to Deepen Your Relationship
- Twelve Ways to Expand your Inner Skills
And more …
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