Affair Newsletter – Dealing with Adultery

Adultery does not stand a chance!
Break Free From the Affair with Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach

Learn how others are gaining confidence and standing up to adultery. Check out the responses from some of our readers below, and learn how you too can find insight into your partner’s affair while finding instant relief.

Please describe how Break Free From the Affair has improved your situation.

  • I began to focus on me and things that make me happy. I thought he was a classic #7, and the affair that I ordered this for was…it occurred in the late 80’s and still hurts. I have recently learned he is in a cyber affair, and in the course of his sexual bragging to her, I read of multiple affairs. I am hit anew, and reading again.
  • I found the book VERY helpful in dealing with my husband’s adultery in that I was able to identify the problem and do something constructive with myself for my own self. I realized that I need to have A LOT of patience in trying to understand this man whom I have been married to for the past 32 years, and in the process hope to find out if he is the same man I fell in love with in the first place. His type of affair is mostly #7, and he insists he still wants to be with me, but I am questioning my own feelings now. I guess I’m afraid of going through this again.
  • I stopped asking questions and trying to talk about the relationship. We communicate better. No fighting for over a month now.
  • I got an idea of the type of affairs my husband was involved in.
  • I appreciated the advice, however, actually putting it to practice has been difficult. I’m not a good actress and it’s hard for me to put on a happy face and pretend everything’s ok. Especially when his affair has not completely ended. He’s tried, but as you said, it’s an addiction. Of course the affair partner is a co-worker, so he hasn’t been able to just end all contact and she just won’t let go. Now she has given him the “gift” of two weeks to figure out if he really wants to be with his family. She gave this to him with the “utmost confidence” that he will be running back to her.
  • It has helped me to focus on me a little more and not go the self-blame arena…this is the second affair my husband is “allegedly” having, although he denies it to the extreme, and I am doing much better this time…truly questioning our marriage and whether I want in or out…the part especially helpful is the “Do you want to save the marriage?” part.
  • Well, I’m not anywhere near through, but I’m seeing through the BS. I’m seeing how compulsive and obsessed he is with the OP- and thinking as often as they speak/visit online, that they probably haven’t spent a lot of time together- and likely, her husband doesn’t know yet. In reading through I thought, ‘well, this is fine, but not US’. Then I got to #4 and my jaw dropped. I’d really like to learn more about responses and actions that work to make ME feel better and get HIM to notice- although I am using what I’ve read and he can tell something is different. He moved out, so it’s not like it would be if he were in our home. I have a hard time not trying to ease his pain or look out for him.
  • It clarified some points about the type of affair my husband is having – although he does show traits from a few different types, and does not fit wholly into one category. It also might help with the approaches I should and should not take in trying to discuss this with him.

Infidelity and Sexual Addiction: I Can’t Say No!

I assume, although I haven’t completed any research, that most people, at least those who have not experienced infidelity in a relationship of investment, believe that infidelity is mostly about sex.

Infidelity does have sex at it’s core, or at least the phenomenon of developing a strong attraction to another.

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