Category Archives: Dr. Huizenga’s Blog Posts

Learn how to break free from the affair and infidelity with resources from Dr. Huizenga, the Infidelity Coach.

11 Ways Worry Kills Your Marriage

Posted on June 8, 2013 by Dr. Bob Huizenga

Worry is fretting. Worry is bound by fearful thoughts. Worry is being nervous, uptight or anxious. Worry feels threatened. Worry is a bundle of nerves. This anxiety gets in your way. It becomes a detriment. It only contributes to more … Continue reading →

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It’s Frightening to Truly Love

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Dr. Bob Huizenga

You see, to love someone and allow someone to love you is truly a risk. Loving and being loved in a genuine authentic, calm, I-can-take-a-deep-breath-and-trust-myself-with-you is downright scary for most of us. It truly is! A wise man once said, … Continue reading →

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The Distant Spouse is Either In or Out

Posted on May 12, 2013 by Dr. Bob Huizenga

Often a polarity emerges in which you are forced to decide whether you are in or out. Perhaps your spouse asks you to make that decision. Perhaps family and friends offer their opinion to either get in or walk away. … Continue reading →

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Is the Distancing Spouse a Bad Person?

Posted on May 11, 2013 by Dr. Bob Huizenga

Often the distancing spouse is viewed as the “bad” person. You are perhaps fearful that others look at you and see you as not “trying” to make the marriage or relationship work. You may hear frequently from your spouse or … Continue reading →

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How do you Handle Emotional Distance?

Posted on May 10, 2013 by Dr. Bob Huizenga

These are some major coping patterns, common to the human condition. You automatically and unconsciously call upon YOUR coping pattern when life gets emotionally rough. That’s where you go. That’s what you do. And, long, long ago, it worked. Your … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. Huizenga's Blog Posts, Emotional Distance, Infidelity and Intimacy, Marital Crisis and Self Esteem, Relationship Communication | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

Emotional Connection without Talking in Your Marriage

Posted on May 8, 2013 by Dr. Bob Huizenga

The emotional connection or closeness you strongly desire in your marriage can happen. WITHOUT talking. A look, a facial expression, a glance, a touch or a warm movement of the body may “connect.” I prefer to use the word engage … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. Huizenga's Blog Posts, Infidelity and Intimacy, Rebuilding the Marriage or Relationship, Relationship Communication, Relationships: Marriage | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

4 Reasons an Affair or Marital Crisis Kills your Self Esteem

Posted on April 23, 2013 by Dr. Bob Huizenga

Nothing tears at your self esteem and sense of well being more than a marital crisis. The question is often posed to me by someone in the midst of a painful relationship upheaval: “What did I do wrong?” You assume … Continue reading →

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Infidelity Pain: The Key to Hurting Less

Posted on April 20, 2013 by Dr. Bob Huizenga

A marriage crisis brings all your pain and hurt, seemingly buried for years, screaming at you. You are in pain! You are in a ton of hurt. The pain can be incredible, debilitating and persistent: It just won’t let you … Continue reading →

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Normal People Suffer from Infidelity

Posted on April 8, 2013 by Dr. Bob Huizenga

You really are normal. I often reflect: What about what I do that people find so liberating and helpful? Here’s what I think it is: I help those suffering from marriage crisis to feel normal, that they are not defective, … Continue reading →

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Your Marriage Must Reflect Your Terms

Posted on January 16, 2013 by Dr. Bob Huizenga

This continues my speaking to the distant or pulling away spouse or partner… You can and must move ahead in resolving the impasse in your marriage by stating your terms. Your thoughts, your ideas, your observations, your opinions, your analysis … Continue reading →

Posted in Dr. Huizenga's Blog Posts, Emotional Distance, Emotional Infidelity, Infidelity Marriage, Infidelity Pain, Rebuilding the Marriage or Relationship, Relationship Communication | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment