Building a Love You Can Trust: 3 Key Points about Distinctions

I emphasize the power of making distinctions as you build a love you can trust. Making distinctions is the process of understanding, of peeling back the layers of the onion to see what’s beneath.

Love is not an end process. Love continues. Love builds stronger and stronger over time. Love is coming to know the other in deeper and more profound, exciting and happy ways.

Here are 3 key points about distinctions:

1. Almost every list that you will encounter in my materials is a list of distinctions. I take a concept and break it down into its distinctive component parts. You will begin to see yourself more fully. You will begin to view your spouse more fully.

2. New worlds and new ways of thinking will be opened to you. Your world will never be the same. You will see shades of meanings rather than black and white thinking. You will come to appreciate your richness and the richness of your spouse as well as other important people around you.

3. You will experience more of your personal power. You will have more options available to you than ever before in relating to yourself and significant other. As you feel this personal power you will more and more the control you can exercise in your life. This will remove you from the lack of control and personal power you experience when you are stuck in the negativity and reactivity.

Every profession and career focuses on the ability to make finer and finer distinctions. The more distinctions one can make in his/her field, the more competent, the more successful and usually the wealthier that person. The medical doctor sees not merely an arm, but a vastly complicated system of vessels, tissues, bones and is aware of the interaction of those parts. It sometimes amazes me that we encourage and spend thousands of dollars learning to make distinctions in a particular field of endeavor but shy away from that when it comes to relationships.

Check out another blog post I wrote on building love by making distinctions.

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4 Responses to Building a Love You Can Trust: 3 Key Points about Distinctions

  1. Shelly says:

    How do I connect with my husband when I was the one who left? He will not forgive me and continues in lies and blame. Should I give up and move on?

    • bor says:

      How did you connect with your AP? I suggest you do the same. Find the curiosity of your husband and go from there. find out what is interesting and how he thinks by asking questions. be open and honest apologize often, give appreciation for the one who is willing to take you back and not divorce you. write your core values into your smart phone. Honesty, integrity, compassion empathy, courage, humility, kindness, love. when you are getting blasted by him read these and then respond with the one that fits. give him notes of affirmations and gratitude. That will set intention for the day. spend fun time with him. Educate yourself and tell him about triggers and your affair but dont be cruel. Soon you will be back in love with him if he allows himself not to be closed. He will see this and the only conclusion he will make is that you are indeed trying to make up for your mistake.

  2. Dr. Abraham Chol says:

    This is a great article about love’s building! I like it so much. Keep on helping humanity with this knowledge, Dr. Bob.

  3. Louise Williams says:

    Since I and my husband are divorced, I would like to see articles on how to rebuild me so I will never again enter into the same type of relationship that I had with my cheating spouse. I would love to love again and have it be successful for both parties.

    Let me know where to go to get this resource.

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