Is there a difference between revealing your infidelity to your partner and allowing him or her to find out from another person or source?
Yes, there definitely is! You may think that it’s all the same, that he or she is going to get mad and upset and hurt all the same. So why put yourself in the crossfire voluntarily?
Giving yourself up and revealing your infidelity to your partner has its advantages along with its disadvantages. One of which is it allows you to plan and set up the things you are going to say and how you are going to say them. You are in control of how the news is going to be delivered, unlike when someone else does it where the possibility of it being revealed in a destructive way.
With you revealing your infidelity, you can tell your partner what you did, what happened, where and everything else that he or she needs to know, and you can say it in a way that will bring reconciliation and peace, in an open and honest way.
You will also have the opportunity to kind of prepare yourself for how your partner will react to your revealing your infidelity. You can anticipate this reaction and you will be able to steel yourself for the things he or she is going to say and do. What you need to remember is that even though you came forward and admitted what you did, it does not change the fact that it is wrong and hurtful, and a betrayal of your entire relationship. So your partner will obviously be hurt and will most likely want to try to hurt you as well. Get ready for this before revealing your infidelity.
And although these are things that are going to help you in revealing your infidelity to your spouse, you have to make sure that the reason behind this reveal is not mainly to lighten your own guilt, but because you want to improve your relationship and strengthen it.