The Other Person: What Roles Do They Play?

What is it exactly that your partner sees in the other person? What are the things that they provide your partner that you are not able to?

Most people who are victims of extramarital affairs tend to blame the other person for the affair more than their partners. This is because society’s general attitude towards infidelity is that it is caused by the third person, and their partners were forced into the affair and are merely victims as well.

They tend to look at the other person as kind of a femme fatale or a Don Juan – someone who can make their partners do anything with a snap of a finger. But what they refuse to understand is that their partners had as much to do with the affair as the third person, and that if the affair hadn’t happened with that particular person, it still probably would have with a different person.

So if you really think about it, just how special is the other person?

A lot of people believe that infidelity happens in relationships where love does not exist anymore, which isn’t always true. There have been plenty of cases where the affair was a way for the partner to deal with a certain issue or problem, and not necessarily an act caused by “falling out of love.” It becomes a fantasy relationship, where both the partner and the other person present only the best parts of themselves and do not have the same responsibilities and priorities as a married couple does.

In most cases where the partner does choose the third party over the spouse, they eventually figure out that what attracted them most to that third person is the role they presented – that of a lover – and not the person himself, and that the illusion they had of this person giving them a new, more exciting life was nothing but an illusion.

There are plenty of other roles that the other person could be fulfilling for your partner, and understanding the nature of their relationship could give you insight on what it is exactly that the other person is doing for your partner.

This entry was posted in Emotional Infidelity, Infidelity Reasons, Learn How to Confront the Other Person, Relationship Communication, Relationships: Marriage, Relationships: Sex and Intimacy, Trust Building, Types of Affairs, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The Other Person: What Roles Do They Play?

  1. Brian says:

    I was the third part in the affair. More emotional than sexual. I thought we were very close but then she fooled around a bit on me and lied to me about another guy many times. She said she was going to leave her husband for me and gave me a ring and asked about marriage. It made me think did i really love her. I was caught between my desire for her and my fear that she would run around on me as she has in the past. She said the other guy was just platonic. I told her maybe so but her lies made me insecure, jealous and suspicious. I wondered who she was unfaithful to, her husband me or another of her friends. The guilt of her affair on me made me empathize with her husband plus my own hurt. She said if we really loved each other we could work this through. I think she did love me but is a bit loose. If I was with her I would have to keep an eye on her. I am having regrets but I know its over as she was deeply hurt and cried for 3 days straight almost. I am lost without her what do I do> Any help would be good

    • Been the Cheated On Spouse says:

      You go find someone who is NOT MARRIED. Period.
      If someone you find and fall in love with IS married, then you are trespassing on something that is sacred, and on a “brother” in life, who you should be supporting rather than stealing from.

      And the woman you are “in love” with is presenting something to you that is false–she can’t be true to you if she is lying to her husband.

      Find and build your own strong relationship. One that has no entanglements with other commitments that you have to hide.

  2. Mark Despault says:

    Well a third party … Makes it difficult for a couple to engage in trying to fix a broken marriage.

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