What are the things one should expect when rebuilding a marriage? What particular problems or issues commonly arise when dealing with broken trust and crushed faith after infidelity?
Plenty of couples choose to stay together and work on rebuilding the marriage after infidelity occurs, but just when is working on the marriage not working anymore? Here are a few instances.
1. One of the most common mistakes couples do when they are rebuilding a marriage after an affair crisis is to put their personal needs on hold for the sake of making the other happy. This is often an action that the offending partner does, usually out of guilt, shame or embarrassment, as a way to ask forgiveness. Although it is an effective tactic that will please your partner in the short-term, it will eventually lead to resentment or even anger on your side because the needs being met is only one-sided.
2. The couple also feels this pressure to act or think a certain way while rebuilding a marriage, and is afraid to deviate from that way of acting or thinking because it might take them away from reaching their goal.
They become too afraid of disappointing one another or doing something wrong because they don’t want to come off as though they weren’t trying hard enough or putting that much effort into rebuilding a marriage tainted by infidelity.
3. Another thing that couples do when rebuilding a marriage is avoid conflict, sometimes to the point where they pretend that nothing is wrong even something clearly is. They tend to become too nice to each other and are always on their best behavior because they don’t want to add to their issues. But this actually achieves just the opposite of that and adds more problems to the ones they already have. Ignoring a problem after infidelity doesn’t make it go away, it only makes your list of problems longer.
There are plenty of things that need to be dealt with when infidelity becomes a part of a marriage. And all these things need to be addressed before you can fully be able to go ahead with rebuilding a marriage.