Is focusing on yourself in a relationship a good way to heal infidelity and develop trust? How is that possible?
By focusing on yourself, you understand how important it is to let your partner know what your needs are as a step to heal infidelity, and you don’t shy away from it. This is especially important when you start to feel like your partner is pulling away from you and your marriage for whatever reason.
The most common reaction or effect of being in a situation like this is usually to focus all your efforts to try to heal infidelity or pull your partner back to you and your relationship. You start to do all that you can, giving whatever it is that your partner needs, providing everything that you can just so he or she will take notice and see that you are able to do those things for him or her. And this is the exact opposite of focusing on yourself and your needs apart from your partner.
This move doesn’t really work most of the time, and instead of achieving its goal to pull your partner back to you and heal infidelity, it usually drives him or her further away. And maybe you even hoped that because you are giving your partner’s every need that he or she will reciprocate and provide your needs as well.
Because whether you do it consciously or not, providing his every need is an act of manipulation that should not be used as a method to heal infidelity. It shouldn’t even have a place in your relationship. And your partner cannot really show you or let you know how he or she really feels about what you are doing because you are being so good with providing his or her needs, so he or she just avoids confrontation and acts as though everything is fine, which only makes things worse for the relationship and tears down the trust you have even more.
So when you start to feel that your partner is pulling away, instead of focusing all your attention on him or her, turn that attention towards yourself and concentrate on what it is that you need from your partner. In other words, work to heal infidelity by being self-centered. Tell him or her what it is that you want him or her to give and provide you, but make sure that you listen and make yourself aware of your partner’s needs as well. Being selfish is different from being self-centered, and that is exactly what you need to do to heal infidelity.