Drawing the Line on Internet Cheating?


Where does one draw the line or cross the line of internet cheating or infidelity. Explore what readers have to say:

Why is there so much porn out there! I consider myself to be a very liberal person, but my goodness! My husband has been living a double life our whole marriage.
Initially, the fantasy and the pleasure of it feels good. It’s cheap, free, readily available 24/7, and you don’t need to dress up. The fantasy is more enjoyable than reality, and one thing may lead to another.
I suppose I have a hard time imagining a predator type relationship between a person “looking” for a date online. I know this is the situation w/ my husband. He has continued to search for MY old girl friends, acquaintances and has indeed begun dating several of them. Because they may not live in the same town, many are unaware of his actions. I have a hard time understanding a sexual predator and their usage of the internet.
The emotional scares of knowing your spouse was more intimate and shared financial information with the so called “friend”…My husband kept telling me she is only a “friend” and nothing is going on…lies! All lies….I was so trusting his freedom he had from me…
How do you tell the difference between honest, innocent communication or “facebooking” and precursory or actual infidelity?
I found you because I am a victim of internet cheating, so most of your material hasn’t been that helpful. I’m very excited you are going to research this area. My thoughts are: how frequently it could be happening again, and without my knowledge. For me, I believe my bf has run off the rails during our relationship because for 3 years prior, internet chat rooms and dating sites was the only way he interacted with women. He became addicted to this behavior and whenever we were having off times, he reverted back to old ways. How can I trust now that he won’t again. He promises faithfully he learned his lesson (we broke up for a month) and will never do it again. If its been addictive behavior, I’m not sure that it’s going to be that easy.

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4 Responses to Drawing the Line on Internet Cheating?

  1. Lisa Edwards says:

    Online conversation, chat, interaction crosses the line when it becomes intimate, secret and changes a persons behaviour. If the spouse or partner has a secret facebook account, secret email address etc then that’s the proof! Why hide something if it’s innocent? My husband started with online “emotional” affairs, then went onto meeting in real life for the full thing. The first time for 3 months about 15 years ago. This time after meeting online, again facebook, he met a married woman and I discovered their affair a few weeks ago. This one lasted 2 years! Secrets equal risk, loss and pain for everyone.

  2. David White says:

    My wife entered into an affair with a romance scammer on facebook that lasted 5 months. She was sending money to him so that they could carry out a physical affair when he came on leave. This has been devestating, I know she was manipulated ito it but I would have thought since we had a good marriage she could have controlled herself. We are healing as best as we can from this.

  3. Melanie McCreery says:

    My husbands initial affairs were online and over the phone, sharing video and pictures (of OUR daughter among other things, some that I had never even seen before), but perpetrated by dating sites. He used Facebook messaging in an attempt to hook up with a local friend of his, with whom he’d already physically cheated on me a year prior and I was as yet unaware.

    To me, infidelity is lying of any kind, by omission or directly. “Omitting” or “deleting” digitally transmitted messages with the sole intent of hiding them from your spouse is infidelity. Hiding accounts and taking steps to deceive, whether it is an online or physical connection that a cheater is trying to keep underground, is infidelity.

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