You didn’t ever think infidelity would happen to you!
But now Infidelity invades your marriage or significant relationship.
The affair, the secrets, the betrayal and the loss of love and affection happened to others but not to you.
But you were wrong. The affair has invaded your most precious relationship and your world is teetering on the edge of what you think is utter and total destruction.
You feel lost, alone, isolated and devastated.
You want to survive the affair and overcome the infidelity.
To this point you haven’t given much thought to infidelity but as it now stares at you with its ugliness, you are not sure what you face.
You lack adequate information about infidelity: where it came from, what it means, how long it will last and what motivated it in the first place.
You may get sympathetic but unhelpful advice from family or friends. Or, it may be a secret you share with no one. You don’t know where to go or what to do. You may react and lash out or cave in and know neither is helpful or what you truly want.
This blog post will give you a vision of what is possible.
I will outline for you 5 different affairs or infidelity scenarios, one of which will fit you.
I also will create a vision of what is possible for you and your partner in facing the infidelity.
This vision lacks specifics, but if you read more of my information, some of missing pieces of this vision will fall into place.
But first, a few key points about infidelity.
Key Point: Infidelity is Complex
One affair does not fit all. Just as marriages are complex and different, so are affairs.
In my ebook, “Break Free From the Affair,” I present 7 unique types of affairs.
1. My Marriage Made me Do It
2. I Don’t Want to Say No
3. I Can’t Say No
4. I Fell out of Love…and just love being in love
5. I Want to Get Back at Him/Her
6. I Must Prove my Desirability
7. I Want to be Close to Someone…but can’t stand intimacy
Each of these types of affairs vary in duration.
For example, the “I Want to Be Close to Someone…but can’t stand intimacy kind of affair” may be an affair that has a long duration. Some of these affairs continue in secret for years or perhaps decades.
The affair #4: “I Fell out of Love… and just love being in love” may have a short duration of just a few months or shorter.
Affair #6, “I Must Prove my Desirability,” might be a one-night stand.
And, because of the dynamics of a particular type of affair, I can predict the length of the other affairs as well.
A person’s motive for the affair may differ greatly.
Of course, affair #6’s motive is obvious.
Affair #7: “I Want to be Close to Someone…but can’t stand intimacy” is marked by an ambivalence about being intimate. The affair serves the purpose of never being truly intimate with anyone, spouse included.
Affair #3: “I Can’t Say No,” is entered into by someone who carries addictive tendencies. The affair becomes the object of attachment, perhaps with different people, strip clubs, or pornography. S/he is hooked.
How the betrayed spouse responds to the affair varies according to the type of affair.
I’ve outlined 16 different ways of responding to an affair in “Break Free From the Affair.”
Each affair demands that you respond using one of those unique ways.
Once you know the type of affair facing you, you are able to discern which type of response will work best in perhaps stopping the affair or moving to toward resolution.
If you want more information, I highly recommend you download my FREE “7 Types of Affairs Cheat Sheet.” This condensed sheet gives you an overview, and starting point, for effectively facing the infidelity that is destroying your marriage.
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