It’s Frightening to Truly Love

Man consoles his wife

You see, to love someone and allow someone to love you is truly a risk. Loving and being loved in a genuine authentic, calm, I-can-take-a-deep-breath-and-trust-myself-with-you is downright scary for most of us.

It truly is!

A wise man once said, “The greatest risk is to love. Because in loving you will at one point

feel the pain of losing that love.” One will Death is the ultimate abandonment, of course.

Tell us your thoughts about the risk of love. Please leave your thoughs below.

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9 Responses to It’s Frightening to Truly Love

  1. Laura says:

    Wow no help for me my husband has been sleeping with any and every slut he can if no one is available he just pays a hooker not when he is drunk but will even set the alarm to get up early and go to his favourite prostitute he also stalks women while masturbating in his car as well as peeping in windows exposing himself in public molesting family members whom felt secure enough to sleep on our couch after a few drinks and this is I am sure just the tip of the iceberg. After 16 years I woke up at 1 am and he was gone from there I realized that he has been engaging in these acts since 74 days after we met that its not about love but about dirtying me as much as possible I was a very clean highly moral person and he chose me for the joy of using and destroying my cleanliness and making me filthy like his whores. He felt no need to bother with condoms as he wanted to make me filthy well after 16 years I guess I am filthier than the average prostitute due solely to his years and years of dedication to use and dirty me I find not a single word in your website that will help me death is the only cure for such filth

    • Greg says:

      Laura, I hope it is not to late to respond. Death is not your only option. Divorce the scum bag and find someone who is worth your love. For he is not. You made a mistake for picking him. Everyone makes mistakes. Learn from them. It sounds like you are a good person. Find someone of your same caliber and make yourself happy. God bless.

  2. Corey says:

    To love means to risk being vulnerable. Life isn’t perfect and things don’t always go as we wish but to never venture forth and allow yourself a chance at life and love by allowing yourself to be sensitive and emotional means to not really live life.

    Because love is such an emotional feeling we need to be sure that those we choose to love and embrace into our lives are fit to enhance our lives by giving us mutual love in return.

    My wife hurt me by cheating on me. Twice that I know of with men she once dated in the past. One was texting and email off and on with some phone contact. Long distance no contact physically. The other affair was both emotional and physical with the affair ending with confrontation and threat of divorce. Lots of denial on her part and lots of lies that went on for nearly 7 years unbeknownst to me.
    The excuses: She thought I didn’t love her and that I didn’t spend enough time with her.
    Lack of communication (actually talking rather than complaining on her part) and offering no real solutions to save the relationship…I guess she thought it was too much work? (Laziness). Much easier to go back to something that she didn’t want in the first place.
    I haven’t given up on love. My wife is still here. We are working on making things better. It’s been almost 1 year since the shit hit the fan for her and she knows things will be different and highly scrutinized. She knows that she hurt us to the core…me and the kids. But she is doing everything to show me she loves me and that she’s remorseful.
    Whether my marriage worked out or not I would never give up on love. I made some mistakes too by not being present for my wife. I wasn’t doing what I needed and created a void that she filled with someone else. Not saying cheating is right but I understand why it happened. Love is worth the risk.
    In hindsight I think we should have discussed ending all contact with past male “friends” and transparency with email and phone use. I think love needs to be rational and realistic rather than idealized in order to not be blindsided by its painful side. Love is something that needs to be nurtured so that it continues to grow…not left alone on “auto pilot” which was my mistake.

    • Nosh says:

      Thank you Corey, I’m just an average guy from Pa that loves Bob’s work . I am telling you I thought I had the worlds greatest marriage and after 20 years learned she was sleeping with our friend for 3 years as I worked 2 jobs so she could go back to school when kids got older. Words can’t express how much I miss her and marriage . I miss love. Just wasted 4 years waiting for her to come home and just waited , fought with her as she stayed with her married affair partner . I’d permit her to come home to us tomorrow . Says it’s to late now I was mean to her the past 4 years after discovery . Anyway I am 50 now and feel it’s to late to find that love and enjoy a new start when u still can’t get over the affair and throwing away what I thought we had. I’m still waiting for her and she doesn’t or hopes I weren’t alive.

  3. Kevin says:

    I loved my wife with all my heart and soul,when I discovered she was having an affair I was heartbroken but she begged my to give her another chance,I loved her so much I did and I tried to get over it but a couple of years later she did it again and now I’m on my own, she has wrecked my life and I never want to love again.

    • Louise Williams says:

      Just know that it is better to have loved and lost and to not have loved at all. As you heal, please do not be bitter. It is not your fault. Be wise, be strong. Be who you are and look for someone who is truly who they say they are.

      At 74 my husband cheated on me. What hurt the most was he lied about it when confronted. Plus in therapy he did not want me to mention her name as he had never hurt a person he had an affair with…I mentioned her name and then looked at him and said, “what about me, I am your wife?” I then got up and walked out.

    • Noah says:

      I’m sorry Kevin and thank you . I am still begging after 4 years for her to come home and she refuses. I’d love that second chance but as you posted maybe not the best idea to discover that pain twice

      • Maria says:

        Thanks for wisdom Kevin and Noah. I have been sadly begging for three years with my husband. I see that perhaps God was protecting me from future pains of a cheat repeat. I guess let’s move on and believe there are still honest committed people out there.

    • Bob D says:

      I’m in the same boat and don’t know what to do. I hate my life with or without her

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