Confronting the Other Person and the Emotional Affair

Sad beautiful woman behind a tulle.

In part 2 of the webinar series on confronting the other person, Dr. Huizenga interviews Linda, from www.emotionalaffair.org.

Linda did not confront the other person in her husband’s emotional affair and gives her reasons for not doing so.

Click here to listen to Dr. Huizenga’s interview with Linda.

 

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11 Responses to Confronting the Other Person and the Emotional Affair

  1. faye says:

    I think my spouse is in the affair I love you but Im not in love with you. How do you get them to end it. I know it turned physical but now its back to emotional. what do I do. Ive done everything wrong up to now. I left and now Im back at home but not to end the affair outright but to try to get my marriage back.

  2. Survivor says:

    My question is, why would you want him back or your marriage! Will you ever trust again? Will you ever have that gut wrenching pain go away every time he looks at another woman? Will you ever heal? Ask yourself if you deserve to live like that! He doesn’t respect you so don’t disrespect yourself!

    • #last2know says:

      Dear survivor,
      I’m a survivor also. I also used to say I would never stay with someone who cheated on me until it happened to me. Yes it is devastating and gut wrenching and I would never wish this on my worst enemy. But I have also learned each person must decide what is best for them. One good thing from this is that I’m less judgmental. So before you tell the post before you to ask herself why…just don’t. She has asked herself this I’m sure many times. And struggling daily with to stay or go. Bless you and your strength but each must make our own way!

      • #last2know says:

        Thank you! I was in your same boat. I never thought I could stay with anyone who cheated on me until last Labor Day! I too am much less judgmental. Each has to decide what is best.
        It has been the hardest thing I’ve ever been through and I’m not out of the fog yet but each day seems better with fewer bad ones mixed in.

  3. Joe says:

    I’m not sure how to begin this. I’m not even sure its a question, in Nov. 2015 , I received a phone call on my home from work, I had stopped and picked up my son beforehand, he was 19 then, the person on the other end was crying vary vary hard, it was a girlfriend of a new person we had met just a few months pryor, she said her boyfriend of 20 years, was having an affair with my wife of 22 year’s, at the time my wife was 39 ,and I had just turned 54, my son was with me at my side when all hell broke lose, finding out details at the moment I was, he stopped talking to my wife at that point, she did not stop the affair, 5 or 6 months passed he refused to speak to her , she came back then went back to him a few times, I did everything wrong, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know about this site or any for that matter, I actually found it in my wife’s e-mail account that I had hijacked, but then at one of those times that my wife was with me and acting like we were going to really work out our problems, I received a call from my sons good Friend, he was in tears and I knew what he was going to say before he said it, my son had taken his own life, and in that moment, my wife chose to tell me to not be petty, she had to call brian, her boyfriend, I was beside myself, I have confronted this man , a few times, once I even spoke to him, she, we have lost everything, I mean everything, she was living in a tent at the park with this person untill this persons cousin stepped in and rescued them and took them to San Diego, where they are now homeless, but on the beautiful beaches of southern California, I never even got a chace to morn my boy, and her and I have never spoke to each other about “anything” everything serms to have happened so fast, idk, what I’m asking really, I’m sorry, thnx joe

    • Laura says:

      Hey Joe Just came across your post. I just wanted to see if you were doing any better. I know finding out information like that can be devastating and leave u heartbroken. I am in a relationship of 3 years and starting to realize that Im really the only one in it…I too have been finding more out. Im sad n my heart hurts. I guess we just take it day by day and stay strong. Remember that they did the hurting we cannot hold ourselves responsible for other peoples behavior 😉 Hope all is well

      • Joe says:

        Laura I never thanked you for caring back then, I wanted to let you know how much it ment to me that you would take the time to be concerned about me, it really made me feel good, your thoughts, I read over a few times and I never told you that you seemed to be my only ????, idk, my only friend? I suppose I’ve dealt with this whole fiasco very much alone, and I suppose it’s not very healthy to go it alone but nobody understands how it’s robbed me of ” EVERYTHING” even the person I was, or I think I may have been, I really don’t know, but I kinda don’t care anymore either though. I’m sorry, your not my therapist lol. I just wanted to say thank you , it was one of the few gratifying moments in my life back then. I really hope you have reached a state of clear , and move beyond the mental miasma in your lives, thank you again Joe.

  4. Heartbroken2018 says:

    Is it possible to forgive a 2 1/2 year intimate affair? My husband and supposed friend were intimate while I worked or when our children were on play dates. My husband wants to fix things but I feel like it’s himself he needs to look within. This woman’s marriage feel apart after our friendship started. We spent family vacations together and when she threatened him he finally told me. I’m hurt and my trust is shattered I feel like our home is tarnished as their relationship occurred under my roof at times after I had fallen asleep when our children had sleep overs. I don’t know how to move forward. I love him and he’s an amazing dad but trust and honesty is all but gone. They say they loved each other can he really love our family if he pushed us aside for 2 1/2 years? Will intruely be able to trust again?

  5. Lifeisdifferent says:

    Heartbroken,
    Like the poster above, I just stumbled across yours. How is life for you now?

  6. Marrow D says:

    About 3.5 years ago the love of my life had an affair. I have children from another previous relationship that didn’t work. I suffer daily…things I wish I had known before I go t totally involved with Ami. Its a daily struggle to know she was molested from 8yrs of age until she was 19 yrs. She had married a guy previously and it didn’t work out and then I came along and feel like im the one whos been left to hold all the emotional baggage. She had one confirmed affair, on me while weve been together and we parted ways only to get back together. I would tell anyone to focus on ones self and live your life to the fullest if you possible can. don’t focus on the mess that you had to endure.

  7. Joe says:

    January 22 2017, it seems like it should feel like that was a long time ago, but it doesn’t, it really doesn’t. This is sort of an update, I guess. She’s still homeless. Only now they’re at Venice Beach, free WiFi, they don’t get harassed by the authorities to much so I guess they’ll be living happily ever after. I get to speak to her though, I put her name into Local Crime News, and found out she had been arrested and had a court date in LA county, it gave me the date and time, so I went there on that day, I actually spent the night in my truck on the street near the court house, and when I was walking over to buy a parking permit I saw a girl/woman I had to look very hard, the years being outdoors have not been kind to her. I finally said her name and she looked up at me, we hugged, and I offered breakfast , she accepted , we ended up spending the day together, we didn’t talk about any of the things I really wanted to know about, but it was nice to be with her for those few hours, I haven’t seen her since. I have still been alone, I have been with only one girl in 25 years and haven’t been with another human being in about 4 years, I moved to Arizona, trying to start a new life but its been hard, I still miss her more than I can put into words, I have resigned myself to being alone for rest of my life because the few times that I have tried to find some one , well let’s just say I’m not the best catch of the day for some reason. However my son’s best friend has come to live with me and I have learned a lot about my son that I probably would not have if Nick hadn’t decided to come stay with me, and I’m grateful for that . I suppose it’s getting easier but I can’t say I’ll ever really have closer. I’ll always miss her I guess I’ll have to get used to it…
    It’s nice to be able to say whats on my mind to share my pain with people who understand , thank you all. Joe.

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