How Do I Get Rid of the Images?

Depressed couple has dispute and are not talking

Terribly negative and disturbing images and thoughts may bombard you after the discovery of the infidelity in your marriage.

Learn why “trying to get rid of the images” usually doesn’t work.

Learn why it is important to understand the origin of the disturbing images and thoughts.

Discover THE question you can ask yourself to diminish the intensity of the images and thoughts.

Finally, a couple tips are given to help with the thoughts and images including the use of EMDR.

This entry was posted in Emotional Distance, Emotional Infidelity, Infidelity Coaching, Infidelity Marriage, Infidelity Pain, Surviving Infidelity, Surviving Infidelity Videos, Types of Affairs and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to How Do I Get Rid of the Images?

  1. Doug says:

    Bob is RIGHT ON!
    Coping with infidelity can only be done by going THROUGH not around the issues.

    After my affair, my wife and I decided to take the experience and learn from it, instead of using it as an excuse for divorcing.

    After the pain subsided a bit, we were able to use the experience to learn about each others needs, communicate better and revitalize our sexuality like never before.


  2. Kathy says:

    My husband is a sex addict and has had numerous affairs, usually one night stands, cybersex, etc. I can’t get these images out of my head. It is so disgusting.

    Please help me with any ideas how to get through this. He says he is not doing anything, but addicts lie.

  3. lm says:

    What do you mean? Make your wife hot?

  4. Deb says:


    Two years ago, my husband was dropping me like a dead body. At first I wanted to stop living then I sought out good advice and support of friends. The images haunt still but three decades of lies is a challenge to process. I suggested couples counseling to make our divorce and child custody go well. My spouse began to question his fantasy relationship. He got into serious therapy. We made room for hard conversations and honest dialogue. Surprise! The greatness we had together on all levels came roaring back.
    He discovered that he was deeply attached to me and began to honor and value me. He broke off that perfect younger, smarter woman affair very early on in our process because he didn’t really want to move out.

  5. Geanie says:

    I’m not so sure it would be wise for me to remove the images from my mind. They act as a barrier to keep him from getting close to me where he can hurt me. They seem to be a reminder that if I trust him, he’ll just hurt me again. They keep me backed off and protected in a way. That’s how it feels to me. Is that crazy?

    • Brett says:

      I dont think so i feel exactly as you do if i hang on to them at least i have a weapon against this spell she has over my heart. I cant bring myself to enact revenge. I try to imagine doing so and i just see myself backing off those attempts. And chickening out cause ultimately i dont want another. I want her but with every touch i cant help think to myself “did he have his hands on her like this in this very spot? And is my touching her that way causing her to remember the way he made her feel that time? And is she imagining him right now or is she truely here with me on that mental emotion level?” And its a vicious cycle i move my hand away and tell myself to not let my gaurd down & to stay strong. But find myself longing to touch the woman ive loved for 10 yrs. And it breaks me down day after day i cry when she falls asleep. She’ll wake up sometimes and see the evidence of tears and i just say “im ok im ok” cause ultimately i dont want her to be thinking of him or that night anymore then im sure she already does in our attempts to reconcile the lost trust we both so longly need from each other. But She caused me this forever tormentor. I just want to start fresh but 10 yrs of memories 4 of which i was being decieved and ploted against. Yet being told im crazy for seeing all the signs of infidelity and trying to stop them in thier tracks and now that they have i cant help but be paranoid and i get that peverbal spy hat on again and start going through her txts,FB msgs,emails,apps,google history logs,phone bill logs etc. Which makes those feelings of inadequacy rise to the surface all over again. I dont see how im suppossed to let go but at the same time protect that which wont take anymore heart ache. I dont want for my suffering to ultimately destory what little left of who i ident as my inner self i hold on too.

  6. Jean says:

    17 years ago my husband had a three year affair, they had a child together. We had two young children at the time.I took him back , he begged me , cried, said he loved me.I just blocked it all out, never dealt with therapy, counseling. He never wanted to. Well, four years ago he left again for the same person…now going through a divorce and now I am having a lot of trouble getting the images of those two out of my head.

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