Erase the Pain of Infidelity and Extramarital Affairs Quickly

If you recently discovered that your spouse is cheating, you may find it difficult to believe that the intense pain of infidelity you feel can be erased quickly.

Well, yes it can.

But, diminishing the pain of infidelity is not hocus-pocus.

Erasing the pain of infidelity, or at least finding immense relief from the pain, occurs under particular conditions and mental and behavioral shifts you make as you begin the recovery and healing process from the infidelity in your marriage or relationship.

Many drowning in the agony and pain find this type of relief once they spend an hour or two integrating the practical, unique information I present in my ebook, “Break Free From the Affair.”

The pain is erased for very specific reasons. You will learn those reasons as you move through my site and become familiar with my “take” on infidelity that has been researched and clinically tested with thousands of individuals and hundreds of couples since I began my private practice in Marriage and Family Therapy in 1981.

Welcome to my blog.

Your comments are gold. Please deposit them!

You will find that part of your relief will emerge as you meet others moving along the same predictable path as you.

Wishing you the best,


Dr. Bob Huizenga – The Infidelity Coach
Helping thousands deal with the pain of infidelity

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8 Responses to Erase the Pain of Infidelity and Extramarital Affairs Quickly

  1. Debra Glomb says:

    I have been reading your articles as my husband had an affair. It is over but my pain and devastation is not. I am trying very hard to get past this. We are seeing a marriage counsler and that helps. I am hoping that this pain goes away soon as it is sometimes unbearable. It has been 3 months since I discovered it. Thanks for your articles they really are helping. Sincerely, Deb

  2. Bob says:

    Knowing or suspecting an affair brought the separation/divorce is great, but the pain goes on for many months. Why?

  3. Janice says:

    I felt better after reading the book and identify which type of affair my partner is…unfortunately I don’t think I can save my marriage due to the fact that my partner don’t want to say NO.

  4. Samantha Golds says:

    Great advice, to scrape yourself up off the ground and take control of who you are again. It doesn’t mean that you are to stop learning about yourself, and “blame” him/her who had the affair, but enables you to enter the right head-space to look at your relationship from a different perspective. It gives you the tools to communicate with the person having the affair, rather than thinking that they’re crazy and the only way about it all is knee-jerk emotional reactions and escaping physically. Great information to use in conjunction with psychologists if you can afford it. Thank you so much.

  5. Angela Guina says:

    My husband had been ringing his lover – unknown to me- since we were married 20 years ago ( perhaps longer). When she kicked her husband out, 2 years ago, my husband then became intimate with her. ( I believe it has been going for years, it just became more frequent without her husband being around). Because my husband is a truck driver he covered his tracks by lying to me about his whereabouts. Trusting him, I fell for it, never thinking he could stoop so low, However, a mistake in the phone bill had me checking numbers, and I noticed the frequency of calls to ‘ her’ number, so I checked back at least 7 years as we keep the bills for tax purposes. He called her almost every day, sometimes several times ( the most 8, in one day) When I confronted him he lied and said they were just friends !!! However I checked further dates when he was not at work, places of calls to her etc etc, and tracked down motels, which I rang, and from which I gained receipts. When I showed him these he admitted they had been intimate for only a few months !! He wanted our marriage to continue, to give him another chance, and I agreed – as long as he told her it was over – no more calls ! It took him 2 days to contact her, then I saw her number again. I contacted her – told her if she keeps it up ‘ the world will know’ She is in Rotary, on ‘Society’ Committees like Red Cross, Women’s Committees etc etc. I told her he admitted to it, the phone records show it, and I had receipts with her name on them. She blatantly screamed at me ‘ We are just friends’. The two are well suited with their lies. By confronting her I felt a little better , however, because they are both compulsive liars I believe they are still in contact , this time using a SIM card so there is no record. Unfortunately I have Cancer, my husband has lost my home and savings( this is my second marriage) due to his poor business dealings, so I cannot afford to move out and look after myself. He is trying to make up for it, saying it was only sex – no love- but I keep finding evidence of his lying, so I am stuck with him. I realise it could be worse if he were being aggressive, but I no longer trust or respect him, so basically my marriage has ended emotionally,

  6. judd ber says:

    I’d like to know about the “hole”.
    Does coming from a house of abuse have to do with anything. Can you send more information to resd up about it.
    Thank you,

  7. juju says:

    I felt better after reading the book. It makes me sad that so many of us are going through the same thing. AFter 30 years of marriage I really never saw this coming. I am glad there are resources

  8. james leroy says:

    After 13 years found out last 7 wife was cheating regularly.tried to forgive want to.cant.about 2 years later getting worse.i. I counseling.not much help.dont want to leave hard to stay need the pain tl go

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