Stop the Affair: What You Can Do to Give Your Marriage a Chance
When faced with the fact the your partner is having an extramarital affair, what is the best thing you can do to be able to get him or her to stop the affair and give your marriage the chance it deserves to be saved?
Here are seven simple steps that you can take to help you:
1. Being happy on purpose goes a long way. Even when you are feeling down or are not up to being cheerful, be happy, especially when you are with your partner. When you are always sad and depressed when he or she is with you, it gives him or her more reason to pull away from you and the relationship which isn’t going to stop the affair. Being happy and choosing to be can help change his perception of who you are and how strong you can be in the face of turmoil. So even if you have to fake it and pretend when all you really want to do is sulk, be happy.
2. Do something with your time. Try out new hobbies and activities that you’ve been interested in doing but never had the time to. Or think of some of the things you’ve given up doing before and start doing them again. Just start having a life outside the problems in your marriage and make yourself busy with things that make you happy. Take up ballroom dancing or yoga, knitting or try joining a book club. Anything that will get you to stop wondering if your partner will stop the affair, and get your mind off your marriage problems.
3. Know that you will make it through this crisis. Believe that whether or not your partner will stop the affair , you will be okay and make it through. Make those words your mantra throughout this whole ordeal. Constantly remind yourself of this not just on the bad days but even during those days when you are feeling good about yourself.
4. Never engage in conversations that will end up being dramatic events. When you feel that your partner is starting to pull you in, firmly and politely end the conversation. When you are communicating, be direct in what you are saying and how you are saying it. Be clear and concise and as much as possible, and only discuss specific problems or issues that need to be addressed at that particular moment like specific steps you can take as a couple that will enable your partner to stop the affair.
5. Acknowledge the truth in what your partner is saying and tend to agree with it. This will help him or her realize the truth is what he or she is saying, in return. Most of the people who are going through infidelity crises are confused about what they did and what they want to happen afterwards – do they want to stop the affair or the marriage? By presenting your partner the facts of what he or she is saying, he or she will be able to discover things about what he or she really wants, and what he or she will do about it.
6. Make new friends, even with those of the opposite sex. Meet with friends who you haven’t seen in a while and spend some time with them. This isn’t a scheme to get back at your partner or to make him or her jealous to get him or her to stop the affair. This is for you to get to know people outside of your usual circle and to know more about how other people perceive different things, even the situation you’re in.
7. Exercise. Start running or join a gym. Get healthy. Get fit. Take care of and enjoy your body.
Which one of these tactics are you most comfortable with? Start by focusing on that first and continue with the rest when you are ready. These are just some of the things you will be able to learn from Break Free from the Affair, and there will be more when you become a member. So make sure that you register and give yourself the best chance to stop the affair and break free from it.
