Rebuilding the Relationship: Making Sure It Works

What does it take to make sure that rebuilding the relationship or marriage will work after infidelity gets in the middle of it?

A lot of couples have succeeded in rebuilding the relationship, but not after a few bumps in the road. If you are in this situation right now, of finding a way in rebuilding the relationship with your partner who has had an extramarital affair, the following are some things that you have to avoid in order to give your relationship the best chance it can get.

 1. Avoid trying to find something you have in common and making it the core basis for why you are staying together. Having one or even several things in common is not what makes a relationship. While it is important for you and your partner to be compatible on a certain level, being different and having individual interests is good even at a crucial time like rebuilding the relationship, and maybe through these differences, you can create or discover a new kind of passion that both of you will be happy to explore together.

2. Do not ignore your current issues or the problems that were already there before and during the infidelity, whether individually or as a couple, and throw them in the past. Take this opportunity to really look at these issues, talk about them, and try to find a way to break through them.

You will never be able to move forward in your attempts at rebuilding the relationship if you are holding on to past problems and grudges. Bring them out in the open and get through them, so that you when you start over, you can do it with a clean slate.

3. Never forget the progress you’ve made. Most couples, in the middle of rebuilding the relationship, revert to their old ways once they begin to feel comfortable again, and forget the changes they have implemented. The way you communicate, how you think, the patterns of how your relationship used to be usually eventually come back to the surface and become the norm once again. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but you have to make sure that the negative patterns and issues don’t resurface along with the positive ones.

Yes, rebuilding the relationship after infidelity is difficult and creating a new dynamic between the two of you will most definitely prove to be a challenge, but if you feel that there is still something there worth fighting for, then you should fight for it.

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