Identifying Barriers: First Step in Recovering From Infidelity

What are the things you need to do when your marriage is recovering from infidelity?

There is a lot of information out there that will tell you the things you can do to fix your relationship and make your marriage work after infidelity. The thing is, all the information in the world will not tell you how you can overcome the personal barriers that are always there in situations like this.

Identifying the problem is always a good place to start. Specifying what barriers exist between you and your partner is a great way to begin the process of recovering from infidelity.

Here are some of the most common barriers that couples in this situation run into when they are working on saving the marriage and recovering from infidelity:

1. Focusing on the other person. You get too caught up in comparing yourself to the other person and trying to figure out why your partner chose him or her that you start thinking less of yourself. And even if you want to go back to the “old you” – the you before the affair – you have a hard time doing so because you are too engrossed on the other person.

2. You find yourself too afraid to make any demands from your partner. People who are recovering from infidelity tend to want to avoid conflict or create more issue so they prevent themselves from provoking him or her in any way, so you back down and avoid any type of confrontation with him or her. You are never sure of what is going through your partner’s mind because you never ask. You keep your thoughts only to yourself.

3. Your partner has a difficult time talking about the affair and giving you whatever information you think you need to know. No matter how much you try to ask questions and begin a conversation about the affair, your partner shuts down and pulls away, and you get nothing.

Rebuilding a marriage after infidelity takes a lot of time and work. Both parties need to keep an open mind and to make a lot of effort to keep from breaking down or bursting out of control all the time, but this is what needs to be done when recovering from infidelity.

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