Does our Culture Promote Infidelity?

This is a good article that gets at our culture and how it provides opportunities for affairs and infidelity to begin.

Different social networks are examines, i.e. the gym, the bar and even the church.

An interesting study from Colorado looks at the origin of an outbreak of Gonorrhea that was traced to specific bars in the community.

Nothing life shaking here. But, interesting.

Check it out http://findinvestigations.blogspot.com/2010/01/culture-of-infidelity_22.html

This entry was posted in Dr. Huizenga's Blog Posts, Emotional Distance, Emotional Infidelity, Infidelity Marriage and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Does our Culture Promote Infidelity?

  1. Exsel says:

    Even though this post was written a number of years ago, I only recently came across it and fully agree with the premise: Some settings tolerate and encourage infidelity.
    My husband and I had been together 30 years when he cheated on me last year. He has been working in the mining and gas industries in Western Australia for the last 4 ½ years on Fly In Fly Out rosters, firstly 2 weeks on, 1 week off, then 3/1 and since nearly 2 years 4 on, 1 off. In his week off he flew home to New Zealand which took even more time off his already short week so he basically had only 4 ½ days home, in which he was tired and jetlagged.
    He was (and is) a good man, who had good values and standards and I was happy in myself and our relationship which I felt was rock solid and based on mutual love, respect and trust, despite us being apart so often.
    I still love my husband but in this last year, while we are trying to rebuild our relationship, I have found out about a part of him that I hardly recognize, don’t love and I definitely feel that the environment that he is in has had a huge part to play in this. Mine and gas workers on FIFO are often under a huge amount of stress if their job is still going to be there next month, next week, even the next day. Yes, the pay is good, but they live in a small room with only a bed, bathroom and tv. There is a games room, gym, swimming pool and bar, but it can hardly be called home; it feels more like a prison. So there are very few stimulants and “happy” endorphins for their brains and that is when they start looking for them, often in the form of porn (which is actually banned), dating sites and increasingly violent youtube clips. This is behaviour that is totally out of character with the man I knew for so many years, but very acceptable in the mining camps’ environment. Once off site many men immediately visit prostitutes with total disregard and disrespect for their wives or girlfriends waiting for them at home, who are looking forward to reuniting and have also been lonely and often stressed from taking care of everything, including raising the kids, all by themselves.
    In the case of my husband it escalated into skyping with a woman via a dating site and then in his week off actually spending a week with her instead of coming home, without telling anybody (including his wife and kids) where he was. It is quite common for men in mining to go to Bali in their week off where they have an Asian girlfriend or even wife. These relationships often have not much to do with love or emotional attachment, but everything with convenience and attention-seeking fulfilment, for both parties. And I feel this has influenced my husband’s behaviour and values as well. He was tired of flying to NZ all the time, was close to a burn-out (I had seen this before about 12 years ago), told himself our marriage wasn’t good anymore and decided (consciously or sub-consciously) to get himself an Asian girlfriend in Perth. A much younger, tiny woman with very heavy black eye make-up – I have seen photos on her profile page – he called “beautiful”, someone he normally wouldn’t have given a second glance and probably would have laughed a bit at. (He hates heavy make-up).
    Luckily that week completely blew up in his face as it was not “fun”, she was “dumb” and it made him realise that he did have a solid marriage that was worth keeping and working on.
    Anyway, to come back to the premise “some environments tolerate and encourage infidelity”: yes, mining environments, where men (and women) are from home for a long time, do. It had eroded (but hopefully not permanently) the values and standards that my husband used to live by. But he is now very remorseful and supportive to me and we both have high hopes we will get through this.

  2. Survivor says:

    My husband betrayed me with someone who works for the same company! We had been married for 30 years ! Our oldest was getting married that fall of his betrayal! Our youngest was graduating college and life what I thought was complete! He traveled alot and I trusted him. He was working to make a living for his family.., so I thought. He was sexually attracted to the women he was working with. This company has very attractive women who are crossing the lines too! Raytheon the upstanding company they think they are not doing anything to stop this . behavior . They both should have been fired as adultery is against company policy and they have fired others for just this reason! The dress codes and “team” attitude are completely setting up marriage for this behavior . Our culture needs to enforce sexual innuendoes at the workplace even consensual, it’s still should be recognized as a crime and punishable. We just turn our backs on such a horrible situation as ok! ITS NOT!!! It’s lifetime altering.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *