Ebook: Marriage Makeover

How to be Passionately and Happily Intimate (and that doesn’t always mean sex) Without “Working on” Your Marriage or Relationship or Believing You Must be “Close”

…taking the fear out of creating a strong and lasting emotional connection

A colleague was having a terrible time with a couple in marriage therapy. This couple had gone through some very difficult times (he had been seeing another woman.) The OP (other person) was legitimately and in all ways out of the picture and they were both committed to “working on the relationship.”

However, they were having a terribly frightful time making headways. My therapist colleague finally out of desperation referred them to me, hoping I could see them through the impasse.

They walked through my door, took a seat and the session began. Both told me they truly wanted a better relationship and were working hard to make it happen. They were sincere.

She described what she would do when he came home after work, trying to make him comfortable, affirmed and welcome. He explained how he tried to talk more, be present for her and meet her needs. He listed 3-4 ways in which he was trying to make her feel more desirable and loved. Each was hanging on the other’s words.

In addition to a rather large aura of tension that surrounded them, the couple exuded a deep sense of weariness and tiredness. They were exhausted. Emotionally they were spent. There was little life in each of them and in the relationship.

They looked at me as if, “OK, the last therapist tried her bag of tricks to make us better. And we worked diligently on every one of them. What do you suggest we do to make this better?”

So, I gave them a very simple but counter-intuitive assignement and followed it with an exclamation point.

They walked through the door the following week smiling, light, like a breath of fresh clean air sweeping through my office.
She, especially, thanked me profusely.

I saw them for 3-4 more sessions and they were happily on their way.

I helped the couple make a simple, but MAJOR mental shift that catapulted their marriage to a new level of intimacy.

You can Remove the Fear and Mystery of Intimacy by making a Few Mental Shifts

Like the couple above, you can achieve the emotional connection you truly desire. However you will never reach that level by following the commonly held adages and suggestions you’ve learned from most others, many therapist included (of which I am one!)I will lead you on a new path toward that emotional connection and intimacy. You will learn:

  • Why you feel your marriage is lousy (or WILL fee your marriage is lousy) and why that is normal.
  • The dance of the polarized couple and what to do about it
  • The trick to feeling intimate without feeling smoothered
  • Men are not from Mars…and really don’t want to be
  • Why compatibility is a myth, or at lease misunderstood
  • Why romance is overrated and how you can get over it
  • How the need to be “special” can destroy a marriage
  • How to move beyond your neediness once and for all
  • The marriage myth that destroys your marriage before you were married
  • How to move beyond role playing with one another
  • Why separation and divorce is sometimes mandatory

Creating a Strong Emotional Connection (Loving) is Not as Difficult or Mysterious as you Think…but How You Get There is Counter-Intuitive

Counter intuitive means you must think and act in ways that go against what seems to most to be reasonable.OK. I’ve been a Marriage and Family Therapist for a long time (since 1981.) I served on the state Board for the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Our unspoken goal was to provide therapy that would make better marriages and families.It hasn’t worked. The divorce rate continues to hover around 50% for decades and according to a study, 9 out of 10 couples report they are unhappy in their marriage. I have some theories, but I don’t want to bore you with them here.But, I do want you to know that to create the intimacy you want, it would be wise for you question seriously what most say about how you go about developing intimacy. For example:

  • The common perception is that a couple must talk about feelings if change is to take place. I believe it is often destructive to talk about feelings and intimacy can be achieved without talking about feelings.
  • Both must be committed to “work on the marriage.” My stance: NEVER are both equally committed to move toward intimacy. One is always holding back. And, that may shift from one spouse to the other over time.
  • Couples must learn to meet each other’s needs. Now, this may work inititially. But in the long run, meeting each other’s needs leads to resentment. And, as well, you want to move BEYOND your needs. Only after moving beyond your personal neediness do you encounter the possibility for lasting intimacy.
  • You must learn communication skills. This is fine and good, but if you have hidden agendas, unexpressed expectations or a distorted belief about love and marriage you are headed for trouble.
  • My marriage will make me happy and provide what I need. Wrong. You will NOT live happily ever after. Being married is the most difficult thing in this lifetime you will do (if you are serious about it), but also holds the promise for the most fulfullment you will experience.

Experience the Exhileration and Freedom of that Unfolding Emotional Connection

There is nothing greater in life than to experience the power of the emotional connection to someone you value. You need not fear it. You need not shy from it. It will take absolutely nothing from you. It will only add to YOU.

Makeover Your Marriage

Begin a Major Makeover.Now, I’m not talking about slapping on a little new paint over the dirt but tearing off the drywall (removing a couple walls maybe) and creating a new dwelling in which the two of you can live an increasingly better life.

Start at the foundation, so the benefits you experience will last a lifetime. You have the opportunity to begin now with “Marriage Makeover,” an ebook or more accurately a marriage workbook that sets you on the intimacy-building path.

  • Is elegantly simple, straight-forward with minimal psycho babble or “touchy-feely stuff.”
  • Levels the playing field. Whomever is more talkative, insightful, relationship-oriented is NOT in a one-up position.
  • Helps you build trust slowly but surely. You will feel safe as you address highly important issues.
  • Begins from areas of personal motivation. Each starts with than issue that is important for him/her.
  • Is win-win. Each person is strengthened and empowered. The strength and power of the relationship is a secondary outcome.
  • Helps avoid the “swirl” or predictable negative ways of feeling and acting with each other.
  • Helps create a more “natural” way for those in close proximity (living with each other or separated but connected in other ways) to manage life together.
  • Eliminates judgments and put downs.
  • Moves beyond need-meeting, merely accommodating the OP, being nice, “stuffing.”
  • Goes beyond confrontation, blow ups, say-it-like-it-is, dumping, getting-it-all-out, catharting, or dealing with feelings.
  • Goes beyond making amends, saying I’m sorry, expecting I’m sorry, rehashing the past, making promises that it will never happen again.

Your Best Chance

Will Marriage Makeover guarantee that you will forge a powerful, long-lasting incredibly loving marriage? No. But it gives you a chance.

And, if you follow the program (and if followed religiously it may take you up to 2 years) I guarantee that you will be a transformed person with a huge capacity to live intimately and powerfully with someone.

Marriage Makeover enables you and your spouse to get on the same page. Do you ever feel like he/she is one step ahead/behind? Marriage Makeover has both of you at the same starting point.

Download “Marriage Makeover” Right Now!

I urge you to download “Marriage Makeover” right now.

Please take advantage of the reduced price ($39.95) now. Order Now!

Marriage Makeover helps you look at every nook and cranny of your life exhaustively with a very positive slant.

“Marriage Makeover” gives you the depth of change that will sustain your life and the relationship.

Marriage Makeover comes with a 100% Money Back Guarantee. If at any time within the next 60 days you find the material not helpful, I’ll cheerfully refund your money, and you can keep the book

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As A Madeover Couple:

  • You will experience a deepening intimacy and know how to grow it.
  • You will feel more relaxed and at ease around each other.
  • You will eradicate unhealthy forms of conflict.
  • You will face problems head on and address them with less fear.
  • You will share a mutual pride in each other.
  • Attract friends, family and an environment that best nurtures the relationship and each person.
  • You will learn how to manage the day to day chores of life more easily.
  • You will parent more effortlessly and your growing relationship will have a
    positive ripple effect upon your children.
  • You will continue to grow the sexual relationship and find points of mutual
    satisfaction.

And… A Madeover You:

  • You will feel much more attractive and desirable. You will find and value your self to a much    higher degree.
  • You will lead a more balanced, more full life.
  • You will accomplish more, much more easily.
  • You will take better care of your self and feel healthier.
  • You will feel much more alive.
  • You will expect more of your self and others.
  • You will be more confident and less fearful of life.
  • You will feel safer and more in control of your life and environment.

Thank you for being part of this site and my quest to change the way we think about infidelity.

Warm Regards,

Bob

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