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Saving Your Marriage and/or Sanity Depends on the Type of Affair

Learn How to Diagnose the Type of Affair to First Find Relief From the Pain and then Pinpoint EXACTLY what you MUST Say and Do to Better the Odds of Saving the Marriage… if you So Choose.

I assume you are like 1,000s of others jolted by the affair, asking these questions:

(Substitute the word she for he if you would like.)

  • Do I throw him/her out?
  • Should I let time heal?
  • Will the Affair Stop?
  • How Long will the affair last?
  • Can my marriage be saved?
  • Should I talk to the other spouse?
  • Will I ever be able to Trust again?
  • How do I get rid of my anger and ugly thoughts?
  • Where did I fail?
  • Will I ever forgive? Forget?
  • Should I spy?
  • and more…

You Are Not Alone! There is Relief! There are Answers!!!

 In 5 minutes I will put on your computer screen the answers, strategies and never-before-published knowledge base
you MUST have to:

  • Get through this faster! Gain confidence. Clear the fog of confusion and diminish the pain.
  • Have the crazy days, sleepless nights, absent appetite and queasy stomach fade.
  • Find the strength and courage you never thought you had. Exude a new power. He will notice and it will shake his world.
  • Know in your heart that the affair is not your fault. No more self-blame and self-loathing. (You really did your best, you know)
  • Know exactly why he had the affair. You will know him better than he knows himself.
  • In the next 6 months turn this disaster into a new opportunity.
  • Melt your rage and hurt into understanding and eventually compassion.
  • Become an expert in affairs. Outsmart him and the OP.
  • Be tough AND patient and understanding.
  • Eyeball him and he will be the first to blink.
  • Surprise yourself and partner with your newfound wisdom and insight.
  • Have a REAL chance to stop the affair.
  • Say the right words that shake your partner to the bone so he stops to truly consider the folly of the affair.

Don’t leave the affair to chance. Don’t wait for "time to heal." Don’t waste time with simplistic suggestions or vague generalities. Don’t act out of desperation.

Use my 20 plus years of research, study, experience and therapeutic work with thousands of people to act with purpose and confidence, knowing EXACTLY what you need to do to break free from the affair.

Avoid the 2 HUGE Mistakes 95% of People Make

Most people don’t play it smart. They react…usually in one of two ways.

They try harder…to tolerate. They swallow….hard. They wimp out and put up with all kinds of crap. (Sorry about the language, but I assume you have thought worse.) They hope time will cure and he will come to his senses.

Often they try harder by being really nice – meeting his needs; it’s called "working on the marriage." Give him what he always said he wanted and win him back.

Doesn’t work. You prostitute your integrity…and deep down you know it.. and resent it. As well, you feel like you are competing with the OP (other person.)

If he does stop the affair and "comes back" it is out of guilt or pity and what do you really have then?

Others Go on the attack. Plead. Beg. Become righteous. Explode every so often. Threaten. Become depressed. Enlist the help of others. Use guilt. Use the children. Talk. Talk. Talk. Desperately make promises.

Doesn’t work either. You don’t have to become a basket case; it’s no fun. And if he does "come back" it’s out of coercion.

Don’t you want to be wanted rather than have him feel like he must be with you because you bullied him?

A Step-by-Step Guide that REALLY WORKS for YOUR Situation

Would you like a recipe, a step-by-step guide to help you break through the confusion and fear? Would you like to know the right words to say and when to say them so that they have the maximum impact? Do you want to find a way to stay connected, yet not push him away?

I have that just for you. My E-book, coming out of my 23 years of therapy private practice, gives you in-depth, proven and practical steps used effectively by hundreds of couples in the midst of marital infidelity.

This e-book comes straight from the lives of those who have been there, done that. Real people, like you, trying to break free. Or read on if you need more information…

7 Key Steps, Guaranteed to help you Break Free…

Know in your Heart that the Affair is NOT your Fault


My E-book convinces you that the affair is not your fault. This shift in your thinking is vitally important if you truly want to break free from the affair.

The affair is HIS/HER problem. It is THEIR problem.

What you did or did not do did not "cause" the affair. He CHOSE that avenue to solve his dilemma. Did you make mistakes? Sure, we all do. Could you have done some things differently? Of course! He could have also!

You are NOT defective. No one is a better lover or person than you. Nothing is wrong with you!

 

Please understand. I care for someone who is having an affair because they are trying to find something – like all of us. The problem: their way of finding that something is really misguided. Anyone who chooses to trade one set of problems for a worse set, or really believes that another person can make his life better or "complete" obviously isn’t thinking straight.

He is either lost in his empty neediness or his life is run by his glands. Choosing an affair is temporary insanity. Affairs have absolutely nothing to do with love – everything to do with personal neediness and the narcissistic need for intense flattery. An affair is NOT the answer. Affairs don’t pan out.

This is backed by over two decades of professional experience, study and research. Here are the stats:

  • 80% of those who divorced during an affair regret the decision
  • Over 75% who marry partners in an affair eventually divorce
  • If an affair replaces the marriage, it is subject to the same emotional stresses
    as the marriage but twice likely to fracture

You MUST Pinpoint the EXACT Kind of Affair Facing You

I’ve identified 7 kinds of affairs marked by the different excuses
most commonly used. These types are thoroughly explained in the E-book.
  • My Marriage Made Me Do It
  • I Can’t Say No
  • I Don’t Want to Say No
  • I Fell Out of Love (and just love being in love)
  • I Want to Get Back at Him/Her
  • I Need to Prove My Desirability
  • I Want to be Close to Someone (which means I can’t stand intimacy)
 

Discover what Internally Drives Him to this "Act of Temporary Insanity"

People with different motives have different kinds of affairs. You will learn more about him than he knows about himself. You will understand his personality, how his past influences him, how he typically copes with relationships, his self-defeating patterns and more.

It will hit you, "this person has a problem! – and it’s not all mine!" (This is not to say you don’t have problems, we all do, but they have their origin in you, not someone else or an institution such as marriage.)

Once you understand each kind of affair and the kind of person who engages in that kind of affair, it all makes sense.

  • You make better decisions
  • Your develop more effective strategies
  • You begin to understand why it is so difficult
  • You feel more confident and centered
  • You have a road map to follow
  • And…you feel better

The FIRST and TOUGHEST Question you MUST ask Yourself

Do you ever ask yourself why you remain with someone who is so self-destructive and has such little regard for you? Do you assume others are thinking the same thing: "Why in the world doesn’t she throw him out?"

Here’s the question you MUST face FIRST: Do I REALLY want to be (married) in relationship with this person?

Don’t jump past this one with, "Sure, I love him… even though he’s doing this." It usually is a bit more complicated.

Do I REALLY want to be married to him? Or do I want to be with him out of my own neediness? Or for other reasons?
Here’s the underlying problem. If you hold on to the relationship because of your neediness or external factors, the chances of getting what you want are slim.

For each kind of affair, I’ll have you consider questions you never thought about; questions that MUST be answered if you have any hope of breaking free.

You will be much clearer on what you REALLY want. He will know and he will respect that.

Realistically: What are the Odds of Saving Your Marriage?

As you might guess, the odds of saving your marriage vary according to the kind of affair facing you.

I use a scale of 1 – 10 for each kind of affair and the odds are based on the premise that you and he will continue in the same patterns.

For example, I give the "My Marriage Made Me Do It" between an 8 and 9 on a scale of 1-10 where 10 means there is no way the marriage can be saved. I give the "I Want to Get Back at Him" affair (the revenge affair) a 3.

These are not arbitrary numbers. I give multiple reasons for those odds in the E-book.

With Your Crystal Ball – Predict the Future

Yes, you can see into the future. Affairs are predictable. Once you identify the patterns you can project ahead and know what most likely will happen next. Here are a few examples:

  • You CAN know how long he will be involved in that affair
  • You CAN know whether he is more susceptible to a one-night stand or a long-term affair
  • You CAN predict whether this will be the one and only affair or whether more are down the line
  • You CAN predict the nature of his relationship with the OP
  • You CAN know whether they will live happily ever after
  • You CAN know whether it is primarily a sexual relationship or emotional relationship
  • You CAN predict how and when the affair will end.

How to Increase the Odds of Saving the Marriage,
If that’s What You Really Want To Do

Once you see the larger picture and have gathered yourself emotionally, it’s time to act.

In the E-book I provide an outline of exactly what action you can take for each kind of affair. I put words into your mouth, giving you phrases you can use with your partner that fit exactly your situation.

With each kind of affair I list skills that work best with that affair and increase your chances for making significant change.

You get 16 skills that you easily learn and apply to the 7 different affairs: (you will only need to learn and apply those skills applicable to the affair facing you. I’ll show you the one(s) that will work best for you.)

You will learn when and how to send messages, use silence, get to the real commitment, leap your partner, look for upset, contextualize, peel away layers to the truth, and gap the goal, to name a few.

Don’t Allow this to go on for 2 – 4 Years, so I’m Making a Request You…

Most studies indicate that if you go it alone, it takes 2 – 4 years to work through and resolve the affair, whether you stay married or not. Yes, you read that right. But, you want the agony to end today or yesterday, don’t you? Well, it won’t…and there are no magic wands to make that happen.

But, and this is a huge but, it NEED NOT take 2-4 years.

Here’s what I want you to do: Make a personal commitment to use the next 6 months to learn everything you can about infidelity and the affair facing you. Gather your strength and courage and begin using new skills to stop the affair and develop the kind of life and relationship you REALLY want.

Take This Step NOW!

Here’s the first step: click on the button below and order my e-book, Break Free From the Affair. You will find a wealth of never before published information and tools designed specifically to help you break free. Find relief. Begin to make sense of the affair. Know what you must and can do to turn this around. Learn how to move through this agony quickly. A better life waits for you.

Decide now to learn exactly what kind of affair faces you and the EXACT skills you need to more quickly end this nightmare and break free from the affair.

You can download the book right now for only $49.95.

Here’s How You Can Get Started Breaking Free From the Affair in the Next 5 Minutes…

When you click on the button below, you will be taken to our secure order page. Your order is kept completely confidential – only the processing company and your credit card company access the information.

Your order is processed immediately, and you’ll get a receipt for your purchase with a transaction number and a link to where you can download your book right away.

You’ll be reading your book in less than 5 minutes.

I’ll tell you in the introduction how to use the book; devise new strategies that will help you make a difference and get pointed in the right direction right now.

You will want to go back to this book time and time again as you do what you must do to create the life and love relationship you really want.

Order Now and
Get These BONUS GIFTS!!

BONUS 1
HOW TO "GET OVER IT"
FOR GOOD!
The CURE for Every Upset

When you order Break Free From the Affair, you receive this innovative e-book to help you with confronting your partner.

In this 48 page e-book, Paul and Layne Cutright teach you how to transform your experience of arguments and upsets in your relationships. Rather than avoiding confrontation and "walking on eggshells", you will be able to safely and constructively talk about things that are hard to talk about.
 

 

BONUS 2
THE CHEATING
SPOUSE GUIDE

This guide, written by someone who has been-there-done-that, includes effective ways to find out if your mate is cheating.

This material is very useful for anyone who suspects
sexual affairs or cyber affairs. You will get over 20 pages of information including:

  • How to Tell if Your Spouse is Lying!
  • Signs of a Cheating Spouse!
  • Tactics to Catch Them in the Act!
  • Tactics to Learn Their Past!
  • Things Cheaters Do to Hide Affairs!
  • Mistakes Cheaters Make!
  • Gain Advantages Over Them!
  • Latest Cheating Spouse Statistics!
  • Four-Step How-To-Catch Formula!

 
 

 

BONUS 3

You will automatically receive monthly the Break Free Newsletter. The Newsletter presents innovative, thought provoking and exceedingly helpful articles and tools that become tomorrow’s best selling e-books and resources. The Newsletter helps you:
  • Keep your life on target in the midst of your crisis
  • Get the boost you need to keep going and Feel better right now
  • Put a knowing smile on your face
  • Be connected to people and resources that will become your best friend

Here’s what some of my subscribers say:

I look forward to your future newsletters. (My husband is aware I am getting information from this site and he is actually reading some of it! I hope it helps.)
—Subscriber

Reading your newsletters really seems to help. I read it Monday night and by Tuesday, I felt really good. I felt like I could control everything and not have him in my thoughts every second.
—Subscriber
 

 

 

Dear Dr. Huizenga,I just bought your book yesterday and all I can say is thank you. I was on a emotional roller coaster when I found out that my wife was having an affair(#4). Everything you said about the typical reactions for the offended were dead on. Everything you mentioned, I was going through ( I was miserable). You helped me more than anyone or any resource ever did. It was uncanny how accurate everything was. Dr. Huizenga, you saved me from so much pain and anguish, now I have the power, the knowledge and the confidence to go on with my life. Thank you for everything.

PS: I would have paid ten times more for the book if I knew how truly powerful it was.
 
Kelly
 

This is the one year anniversary of my life turning upside down due to an affair. You helped me to move beyond the hurt and to focus more clearly as I made some very hard decisions regarding my wife’s infidelity. The guidance you provided was invaluable, both for understanding the affair and myself. Thank you…
 
Tim R

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