Emotional Infidelity Signs: How Did You First Know?

Here’s part of my research on emotional infidelity signs. These first cluess of an emotional affair are taken from the comments of my newsletter readers:

1. Two – three days after this night… He started talking to her….. away from me……outside in the balcony or outside the house. And then I saw in his OUT BOX (mobile) messages saying I Love U….. and I all over u. 

2. Coming home late.

3. The first emotional infidelity signs I noticed was when he was not listening to a word I would say and our love life was null and void, no feelings what so ever. He was always yelling.

4. Our love making became nothing, he was always distant once she let him know she wanted him.

5. I noticed the signs about 3 – 4 months into it: 1 – Pulled away from me when I went to kiss her during the day. 2 – Appeared to not want to kiss me during sex. 3 – Arguments starting over nothing. 4 – She brought him into our lives, as a friend. So a new man on the scene. 5 – Always out on works nights out. 6 – Making an effort with appearance for work.

6. When he told me that he wasn’t in love with me anymore.

7. He stopped smoking started working out and started working later and later.

8. Lat phone calls at night and taking his phone out of earshot

9. Change in clothing style, more gentle towards me, buying little gifts.

10. Phone records. Repeat phone calls, being distant, no sex or physical contact.

11. I noticed that when she came over, they would flirt. They gave each other knowing looks.

12. When he started going out 2-3 times a week, always finding excuses that he had to meet up with people to talk about work and then finally all exploded when I had a visit at home from her husband.

13. My husband grew more distant emotionally, would say little jabs that was not normal in our relationship, would make little comments such as “well at least we can live together as friends”. But the only time I really gave any credence to these emotional infidelity signs was when he started losing interest in sex. When I would make advances, he would satisfy me then lose his erection.

14. The emotional infidelity signs were lying, calls on a cell phone that were extraordinary in length, being away from the home longer periods of time. Sudden obsession with his looks and the clothes he was wearing when he went out.

15. She would be at our house when I would get home on a few occasions. He seemed to know a lot about her and ended up in regular contact (for 3 years!)

16. Staying out till 4:00 in the morning, always on the computer but when I would come in he would turn it off, never tried to have sex with me.

17. He always seemed angry at me for no reason and started picking fights with me. Then he was staying away every weekend with work when their relationship kicked off.

18. Talking on the phone for hours and keeping it a secret/not for about 2 months after it started

19. I knew for three years that he was in her thoughts. I would often find Google searches for his name on the family computer. I found where she had map-quested to his house. She would occasionally call him over three years. None of this was frequent enough to be considered an affair, more like just “keeping in touch”. The full blown affair started Dec 25 when she started texting him with the new phone I bought her! She stopped all physical and emotional intimacy with me. Literally immediately. She became withdrawn and eventually stopped trying to hide it.

20. Fighting, excuses, barrier, skirting the issue, and moodiness.

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