One of the things that always becomes an issue for people who have had extramarital affairs is deciding between telling their partners what they did and keeping it to themselves, which is a decision that only they can make on their own.
But what is the real problem in this scenario? Is it really just a choice between revealing your extramarital affairs and hiding them? Or is there more to it than just that?
Obviously, the biggest fear in revealing extramarital affairs is the possibility of your spouse leaving you and getting out of the marriage. But is there a guarantee that this won’t happen anyway if you keep your affair a secret?
Here are some thoughts on possible scenarios that could occur if you decide not to reveal your extramarital affairs:
First of all, if you think it’s easy to keep something this huge from your spouse, you better think again. Secrets have a way of revealing themselves sooner or later, and secrets in a marriage have a way of destroying it little by little.
Because for you to be able to keep the secret of extramarital affairs hidden, you will have to do a lot of avoiding. And you may not be aware of yourself doing it, but your partner surely will be.
When you’re having a conversation, for example, there will be certain topics that you will stay away from of keep your partner from mentioning. And when this happens, he or she will usually notice, which will cause him or her to follow your lead and keep from mentioning those topics. You may breathe a sigh of relief and think that you dodged a bullet when this happens, but what it actually does is create doubt and suspicion in your partner which is the first step in his or her losing trust in you.
You may think that it will get easier when you’ve gotten the hang of it, or that thing will get better in time, but the opposite is actually true. The more you lie to cover up your extramarital affairs, the more you drive a wedge between you and your partner. And the more he or she will be driven away.
Don’t think that keeping your infidelity a secret will not have a price and leave you free from consequences. Think deeply about this choice, and of how you will handle either situation before finally deciding what it is that you will do about your extramarital affairs.