How to Cope with Infidelity: The Place of Family and Friends
In my recourse, I caution against getting family and friends involved as a way to cope with infidelity.
My concern about using family and friends to cope with infidelity is that family and friends have an emotional investment and thereby may have a strong desire to alleviate your pain, may offer simplistic advise (because they don’t truly understand what this is like for you), or may become actively involved by confronting your spouse, the other person or in some manner attempt to manipulate the situation.
But, if you are clear with family/friends with what you need or they possess an emotional intelligence to handle your pain and circumstances, then consulting with family and friends may be a viable way to cope with infidelity.
These people express success in using family and friends to cope with infidelity:
“I felt absolutely numb for a few days and just couldn’t believe that I still would like this man back in my life. I’ve surrounded myself with special family and friends (have told only a selected few) and am keeping busy doing things I enjoy.”
“The first days, weeks and even months are much of a blur as I was in a state of total shock and disbelief over my husband’s 4 year long affair and strip club addiction, both of which where discovered at the same time through different means. Probably the most helpful thing for me was to reach out trusted friends and family members for support, to immediately start weekly counseling, and to take things a day at a time, sometimes even an hour at a time. Even though my situation was horrific beyond belief, I kept telling myself day in and day out that “things could always be worse.”
“The first day, I called my sister within a few hours of finding out. I spoke to her very often those first few days for hours at a time. I then called a therapist and went within three days to start getting help with a situation I didn’t think I could survive.”
“Talk a lot with friends an colleagues about it. Quite a few went through the same and they made it in the end. One ended up using drugs and almost throwing his live away and is happy now. That was one thing that kept me going, knowing I need to stay sane. I tried to stay as busy as I could be so I have no time thinking about the affair.”
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