Getting Over Infidelity

Getting over infidelity often means gathering the information and data you need.

Not much is known about infidelity. Getting over infidelity is difficult because of the misconceptions and myths revolving around infidelity. More information is now available to help one understand the dynamics of infidelity, the types of affairs and the strategies that can be used in getting over infidelity.

Read what these people write that was helpful for them in getting over infidelity:

I wanted information. I wanted both experiential and clinical information. All was validating–that my desire to know, my behaviors and feelings were all normal. I learned about well meaning counselors causing more damage than harm. I learned that there are recovery “maps” available which allow me a time frame so as not to feel that recovery is taking forever. Particularly, I found articles in Journal of Marital and Family Therapy quite helpful, although academic. I did learn that, in order to heal the couple must move from blame to understanding.

I didn’t know if our marriage would survive. I never will. I knew that at the onset. I stayed to see what was left of it. I am exploring what is left of it for us. I hated his guts at first. I hated to see him at all. I didn’t want to look at the stranger in front of me. The shock was so severe when I looked at him I didn’t even recognize who he was. I just couldn’t seem to stop staring at this person in front of me. I realized at some point that I knew PART of him. And that I hated the part I didn’t know. I still do. I love parts of him and I hate parts of him. I don’t expect that will change. I have to live with the part of him I hate to live with the part of him that I once loved fully. I will never love him that way again. But, I can love him as much as is reasonable to the situation.

The first 4 weeks were awful,cannot not describe the emotional torture, just getting by was hurting.But somewhere inside of all us is the need to rise up in spite of what’s happened .Friends became a key factor,walking became a stress buster,I did not want any down time to think,to feel .Although its important to face your feelings,the first few weeks are about getting up and get moving,walking constantly was all I could do,i would walk and cry at the same time,eventually the crying stops,walking continues.Play your walkman, listen to upbeat music only,no sad songs .Talking to your friends .Family is good to,but too close to the situation.Keep active,productive,its amazing what it can do .I did not think so at first,but I needed something to do,somewhere to go,exercising/walking was it,plus friends,I drove them nuts talking to them.also searched for answers as to why. That’s how I came upon Dr Huizenga’s web site,the need to understand,it does not change the hurt but it gave me an insight into infidelity and I was not alone. People referred me to the phoenix rising and I did just that.It took a lot but I survived,you can too. linda

More articles on Surviving Infidelity:

How to Cope with Infidelity: The Place of Family and Friends

How to Recover from Infidelity: Trust and Self-Care

Overcoming Infidelity: Give Another chance?

Survive Infidelity: Accept the Pain and No Self-Blame

Surviving Marital Infidelity: Knowledge is Power


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