Experiencing the Infidelity Journey
How you experience the infidelity journey may be different from others, yet there are many themes and patterns that flow though the infidelity journey and process. Experiencing the pain and anguish and how you manage that pain and move toward your future is discussed.
Are You Experiencing This?
I’m wondering if you are experiencing this:
Dear Dr Bob,
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the freedom and peace of mind I have achieved through reading your e-book. My wife recently had an affair, and we were (and still are) so much in love that I had enormous trouble understanding why the hell it could have happened. It felt like the dream had been shattered, and I lost all faith in love, and even life itself.
But I was overestimating both my ability to figure this out, and her ability to make me understand. I was falling into the exact destructive patterns detailed in your list of “do nots”, and I almost ruined something truly beautiful by thinking too much, and trying too hard to do it all alone.
Reading your book put it all into perspective immediately. Once I’d used it to identify the true reason for the affair – it all made sense. I think I knew all along what the reason was, I just had to be convinced it wasn’t something else. Your book gave me the knowledge and perspective to see that, to know that.
Above all, I learned that it had nothing to do with me, and nothing to do with the other guy. It was something she did, for her alone. And now I understand why, I can move on with pride and dignity – and eventually, so will she.
We’ve got a way to go, and she hasn’t yet fully come to terms with the personal issues that led her to this. But learning what I have from your book has empowered me, empowered us.
The destructive cycle has ceased already, and things are genuinely on the mend much faster than I thought possible. I know it’ll take time, but now it feels like months, rather than years – and now I know that it will all be worth the effort in the end. My faith in love has returned, and that alone is priceless.
Thank you for doing this. I know you’re making money, but you’re also providing an essential lifeline to people like me, and I have no doubt that you have made a lot of people feel more secure, confident, and happy than they ever thought possible.
You should be proud of that.
M, North Carolina
If this is not exactly your experience after reading “Break Free From the Affair” I want you to know:
1. Each infidelity journey is different. Although there are distinct patterns and themes, once you discover and identify them, you can dramatically find relief and empowerment. As M, from North Carolina states, this is often the case for those who read “Break Free From the Affair” and apply the types of affairs to their unique situation.
2. For others, relief and empowerment often come after intense pain and anguish. Sue, in one of my audio tapes eloquently describes her 3 week crying jag followed by a release and inner realignment in which she in reality became a different person. Some internal switch was flipped. That happens for some. No pain, no gain.
3. Some find that relief and empowerment come slowly and subtly. You may not notice the change, may, in essence, believe no change is taking place, until you look back over the past weeks or months and say, “Wow, I (the situation) AM different!”
4. You may find that relief and empowerment come in a herky-jerky fashion. Progress may seem like three steps forward and two back. You experience the ups…and then the downs. Confusion is followed by clarity is followed by confusion. Relief is followed by anguish is followed by relief. Your world one day is falling apart. The clouds part and the sun shines the next day.
Whatever your experience, it is not wrong. You are on your healing/change journey and it takes time, energy and a focus of your thinking and action.
How long might it take? Oh, anywhere from 3-18 months, if you intentionally seek out resources, learn, apply new insights, reflect and intentionally change the patterns in your life.
But, please know, your learning is well worth it! You will be a new person – the person perhaps, you always dreamt of being. Your relationships can be better than you ever thought possible. Remember, a rainbow is formed through storm clouds.
I hope you are finding what you need.