Q&A – My Cheating Spouse Won’t Stop Seeing the OP: Needs “Patience”

He/She Won’t Stop Seeing the OP: Needs “Patience”

Says He Needs Time to “get her out of his system”

This reader wonders why he can’t go cold turkey.

Dear Dr. Bob,

My husband admitted to the affair, but yet he still continues to contact this person and has asked me to be patient. He said he will need to get her “out of his system” and to give him some time. How do you handle that?

My Response:

Ending the relationship with the OP is often a gradual process.

For example, in the 7th kind of affair I describe (I want to be close to someone…which means I can’t stand intimacy), ending the affair often takes time. Yes! No! On again! Off again is the scenario.

Affairs also lollygag for those who are “in love”…and just love being “in love” or My Marriage Made me Do it.

So, in particular kinds of affairs, expect a roller coaster ride. You don’t have to like it.

This article is part of a series of articles written by Dr. Huizenga. He responds in practical and heart-felt ways to pressing issues such as:

  • 46 Clues Your Partner is Having an Affair
  • Extramarital Affair: Their Sex is not “Always Hot”
  • Day of Discovery: I’m a Mess! Do I Need Meds?
  • Infidelity: Why the Need to Know is so Strong
  • Signs of Infidelity: My Marriage Made Me Do it
  • Emotional Infidelity: A KEY Tactic to Save the Marriage
  • Sexually Addicted? Ten Important Questions to Ask
  • Infidelity Recovery: What is it with Men?

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