Affair Newsletter – Help Me Help You Help Them

Help Me Help You Help Them

The “help me help you” comes, I think, from the Jerry McGuire (Tom Cruise) movie, doesn’t it? I forget the name of the smaltzie movie, but the phrase stuck. I added the …help them.

Bottom line: I’m looking for some volunteers who will (wo)man or moderate the new chat room.

I hear often, and I mean often, that it is difficult to find a place to talk about infidelity.

I’ve been blown away (gosh, I get sick of that phrase) by the comments placed on the blog. And, a number of them say how good it feels to discover others who are going through similar feelings, thoughts and crud.

As well, your response to my survey on the possibility of using a chat room was very positive. You want one. But you want some structure to it.

I agree. I had a forum on the Break Free site that was un moderated. Some hoodlum hacked into it and literally destroyed it.

Let’s try a moderated chat room for a month or so and see how it goes.

The moderator will be responsible for welcoming visitors to the chat room. A specific question will be the topic for that hour. The group will be responsible for addressing the question. There will be no hard and fast rules here, but some structure might be helpful. Most declare they don’t want the chat room turning into a gripe room.

I really believe that there is a huge untapped resource here – each other. You can learn a tremendous amount from one another and the support and encouragement can be invaluable.

The chat room will be available 24/7, at least at the beginning. However there will be set times for topic discussion and the presence of a moderator. These times will be listed on the sites ( and I would also like to list the moderator and give a little background on that person.

If you have been through the wars of infidelity, or have moved pass the shock and are on the healing journey you have a great deal to offer. You can be an integral part of a healing community. Maybe it’s time for you to step up, give yourself, and be part of something very exciting and deeply personally satisfying.

I would like to hear from you if you are willing to volunteer. I know you would be appreciated. Please go here and fill out a few questions and leave your email address so I can contact you.

Second Article

Help for Rebuilding Your Relationship

Did you miss my last mailing? I put out a great offer for our new E-book, “Marriage Makeover.”

You can have it now for only $15.95. Plus you will receive all the updates and new material that is being added each week.

Once “Marriage Makeover” is in it’s final edition it will go on my sites and the price will be the typical $49.95. Get it now and be part of developing this practical material.

So, if you are at a point where you and your spouse want to rebuild or resolve in some fashion the hurt and wounds, get “Marriage Makeover.

“Marriage Makeover:”

  • Is elegantly simple, straight-forward with minimal psycho babble or “touchy-feely stuff.”
  • Levels the playing field. Whomever is more talkative, insightful, relationship-oriented is NOT in a one-up position.
  • Helps you build trust slowly but surely. You will feel safe as you address highly important issues.
  • Begins from areas of personal motivation. Each starts with than issue that is important for him/her.
  • Is win-win. Each person is strengthened and empowered. The strength and power of the relationship is a secondary outcome.
  • Helps avoid the “swirl” or predictable negative ways of feeling and acting with each other.
  • Helps create a more “natural” way for those in close proximity (living with each other or separated but connected in other ways) to manage life together.
  • Eliminates judgments and put downs.
  • Moves beyond need-meeting, merely accommodating the OP, being nice, “stuffing.”
  • Goes beyond confrontation, blow ups, say-it-like-it-is, dumping, getting-it-all-out, catharting, or dealing with feelings.
  • Goes beyond making amends, saying I’m sorry, expecting I’m sorry, rehashing the past, making promises that it will never happen again.

To Order now, merely click here.

Click here for more information.

Third Article

You Won’t Believe What’s Happening on the Blog

Some are finding the blog an incredibly helpful place. One article has 118 comments. Unbelievable! I’m picking up that some find as much help reading the comments as they do the articles. (No, I don’t take that personally! :)) Whatever works for you is my aim.

In case you missed it, I added a new article this weekend: “Marriage Makeover After Infidelity: Why is it Hard to Talk?”

Check out other articles such as:

  • Relationship Tips: 16 Practical Dramatic Ways to Know if He/She is REALLY Changing
  • Extramarital Affair – He Won’t Stop Seeing the OP (Other Person): Says I Need “Patience”
  • Emotional Infidelity: Lover or Just Friends?
  • Surviving Infidelity and What to Say: The Laser Phrase

Make sure you subscribe to the blog. (Enter email address under the subscribe section.) You are then informed by email once a new article is posted.

Visit the blog at

Accelerate your Healing and Marriage Saving

If you want to move more quickly through your pain and mend your self and your marriage, sign up for one of our coaching packages.

Unhook yourself from the blind spots and move ahead not around in circles. Jen and I will support you, encourage you, love you and help plan a way to break free.

You might want to hurry, because when the new E-book, “Infidelity Recovery – Marriage Makeover” comes out, the coaching prices will go up.

Telecoaching: Coaching takes place over the telephone. Some call it telecoaching. We schedule a half hour phone consultation per week
over the phone. (Sometimes more, depending on your needs.)

It’s simple. It’s convenient. It’s easy. It’s confidential.

Check out the coaching packages.

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