Crisis of Divorce: The Things You Need to Get Through It

Dr. Bob Huizenga — Thu, 27 Sep 2012 14:00:20 +0000

It is never an easy situation to be in when you are going through a crisis of divorce or break up. But the things you need to get through a crisis like this are easy to come by, and you don’t have to look very hard because they are already within you.

These things are honesty, courage, faith and most importantly, self-love. Having these things with you and allowing them to steer you in the right direction will help you focus and build your new life.

Honesty requires you to open yourself up to the world and allow yourself to share what is happening in your inner world or inner life with other people. Being open about what you are feeling about your crisis of divorce allows the people around you like your friends, family and especially your children to open up as well and share with you how they are feeling instead of keeping everything on the inside. Identifying those feelings and naming them specifically is a good start that will eventually lead to healing yourself and those around you.

Courage is what you need to drive you to take a step forward every day toward a new life away from your crisis of divorce. Courage pushes you to move on from the pain and stresses of leaving a past relationship and going on with your life.

Faith is knowing and believing that everything you are going through will end sooner or later, and that you will be able to get through this crisis of divorce. Believing this enables you to get through every day, knowing that you can provide for yourself and your children everything that you need.

And lastly, self love, the most important of all these things, is being able to have fortitude and kindness and acceptance for yourself and for your children, even during the worst of days. Be good to yourself, cut yourself some slack and remember that you do not have to prove anything to anyone. Live every day for yourself and your children, no one else, because no one else deserves your love and attention during a crisis of divorce.

Keep these things with you, and take them and practice them daily. Being honest, having courage and faith, and loving yourself will bring you the happiness you are hoping to have after a divorce crisis or a break up. Continuing to exercise these things will eventually make you realize that you already have the peace and strength to go through the rest of your life past this crisis of divorce you are having now.

After a Divorce: How the Inner and Outer Bodies Heal

Dr. Bob Huizenga — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 14:00:22 +0000

What do you need to do heal yourself after a divorce? There are many different ways that you can go about getting over a divorce or a break up. But understanding just how your physical body and your emotions are connected will help you in doing this effectively.

Your body is not just something that makes you a real, physical entity. It is a physical manifestation of your inner thoughts and feelings as well, and it knows who you truly are fully and completely. It is what makes it possible for you feel joy, pleasure and happiness during your good days, as well as pain, sorrow and suffering when you are going through something bad like after a divorce. It is also what makes it possible for you to feel your connection to the spiritual world, and what makes that connection more real. It is the reason you can feel all the feelings you are having, and you are able to act on the things you want to do. It is the reason that you can access the physical world, while serving as a tool for you to communicate spiritually as well.

When someone goes through a crisis in his or her life like after a divorce, there are impacts on both the physical or external, and the spiritual or the internal aspects, especially so in crises involving divorce, separation or break-ups. Going through these crises in life affects your mental and spiritual capacities, and it definitely does something to you emotionally. But then it encroaches outside into the physical world and affects your friendships and relationships with your children and other people, your social life, your physical health, even your finances. Every aspect of your life, in one way or another, directly or indirectly, can be affected after a divorce.

When you are going through life after a divorce or a break up, there are two aspects of your life that you need to face or deal with in order to bring back structure in your life.

These are the inner work and the outer work. The inner work focuses mostly on your feelings and emotions about what you are going through. It is about the process in which you make sense of everything you are feeling about what is happening after a divorce, how and why. Identifying those feelings and expressing them is what the inner work is about.

The outer work, on the other hand, refers to the things you are doing in the physical world that will let you reestablish yourself and build a new life apart from your partner. Very common forms of outer work is moving into a new house or apartment, meeting new people and making new friends, taking up a new hobby or exercising, and other stuff like that.