Developing Trust: Saying What You Mean and Meaning What You Say

Dr. Bob Huizenga — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 14:00:44 +0000

Developing trust in relationships isn’t as hard as people think. One simple way of doing this is by making sure that you mean the things you are saying.

In developing trust, make sure that when you talk to your partner the things you are saying conveys the same message as your actions. Saying one thing and meaning or doing another always brings in doubt and confusion into the relationship, which are things that can shake up the trust you and your partner have built and will put a pause on further developing trust in your relationship..

A simple example of putting a dent on developing trust in your relationship is when you and your partner go out on a date night. There are times when going out is the last thing you want to do and date night starts to feel like an obligation. You say you want to go, but then you look bored or annoyed and your movements are sluggish like you have to force yourself to get up. It may be just a little thing, but it still affects your partner’s trust in you.

So in a situation like this, what will your partner believe – your words or your actions? It’s difficult for your partner to have to gauge what it is that you really want to do, and a lot of times, situations like this lead to fights and the mixed messages you send do nothing in helping you in developing trust in your marriage.

So, next time, instead of pretending to want to do something that you really don’t want to do, just say that you don’t want to do it. Tell your partner that you know how important your date nights are and that you appreciate what it does for your relationship, but that you don’t really want to go out. Suggest an alternate plan, like staying in and watching a movie. This way, your partner will know what you are feeling and he or she wouldn’t feel like you’re forced into doing it. There wouldn’t be any doubts or confusion and you will be developing trust in each other because he or she will be aware of what you are feeling.

How Saying NO Develops Trust in Relationships

Dr. Bob Huizenga — Tue, 05 Jun 2012 14:00:07 +0000

Can saying no really develop a relationship to be stronger and more mature? How is this possible? And how can you apply it in your own relationship?

Saying no is not a bad thing. Allowing yourself to say no every now and then is actually a good thing. A lot of people cannot say no when others ask them to do something, especially when it is their partners. But there is nothing wrong with saying no, and in a lot of situations it is actually the right thing that you can do. When you say no to other people, not only does it provide you to have time for yourself, it also sets up limitations to what other people can ask from you.

By saying no, you are able to create boundaries between you and the people around you, and you are able to keep yourself from things that could destroy you as a person as well as your relationship.

Most people believe that by saying no to people asking things from them, they will be seen as a bad person. But this isn’t always true. And it’s this fear of being looked at negatively that usually keeps us from saying no even during times when we really want to. And instead, we do whatever is asked of us and suffer in silence, which leads to resentment, doubts, and mistrust. Will you be able to trust your partner when you are afraid that saying no to him or her will change the dynamic in your relationship? Being able to say no, especially to your partner means that you trust him or her to be okay with it, and that you know that he or she will not be take it negatively. Your partner will know that you will not allow yourself to be pushed into doing things that you are not comfortable with, and he or she will respect you for that.

Do not be afraid of rejecting favors and setting boundaries for yourself, and the simplest way you can do this is by saying no.

Featured – Break Free from the Affair

Developing Trust: Saying What You Mean and Meaning What You Say

Developing trust in relationships isn’t as hard as people think. One simple way of doing this is by making sure that you mean the things you are saying.

How Saying NO Develops Trust in Relationships

Can saying no really develop a relationship to be stronger and more mature? How is this possible? And how can you apply it in your own relationship?

By saying no, you are able to create boundaries between you and the people around you, and you are able to keep yourself from things that could destroy you as a person as well as your relationship.