Surviving Infidelity Series: Infidelity and The Importance of Routine and Self Care
I did not find a marriage counselor helpful, just a waste of money. I stayed outdoors a lot because i live nature and rode my horses to occupy my mind. i also took care of myself by going to the gym and trying some new classes. Yes, i got all of the books and we read a chapter each night together. The initial pain was as intense as my mother dying.
I 'separated' from my husband for 3 weeks (at his request) even though HE was the one that had betrayed me. I moved out of our home and into an apartment with a girlfriend (nearby.) I got a membership at a local 24 hour gym. I went to church daily. Each day, I went to my job, the gym and church. It became a routine that allowed me to have 'ME' time and just be able to rest, reflect and let go. I had been going to a counselor prior to the discovery. I kept going to the counselor. I eventually 'shared' with some close family members who were able to be mediators for my husband & me and help us on a path to trying to redirect our marriage and our method of communicating. We agreed with their suggestion that we needed to go back to couples counseling. Although it didn't last any longer than 6 months on my husband's part, I continue to go to MY counselor. I am still going to the gym. And, I continue to go to church as often as my schedule allows me. I am not as social as my husband. I prefer to think 'alone' and not share with a lot of other people. This is what helps me
It has taken two years for me to get over my husbands affair. I'm seeing a therapist who has shown me that I needed to make myself the most important person and not make my life with my husband seem a failure. Once I got me together every thing starting to come into place and I have become stronger and have made our marriage even stronger.
More articles on Surviving Infidelity:
Survive Infidelity: Accept the Pain and No Self-Blame
Surviving Infidelity: The Place of Friends
The Power of Charging Neutral Lead to Rebuilding the Marriage
Saving the Marriage by Charging Neutral
On Surviving Infidelity: The Comforting Voice Within
|
