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	<title>relationship crisis &#8211; Break Free from the Affair</title>
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	<description>How to Survive Infidelity and Extramarital Affairs: Find the Help, Advice and Coaching Your Marriage Needs.</description>
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		<title>After the Affair: Should I Stay or Should I Go?</title>
		<link>https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2012/03/09/after-the-affair-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go/</link>
					<comments>https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2012/03/09/after-the-affair-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Dr. Bob Huizenga]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 09 Mar 2012 15:00:42 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Infidelity Pain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships: Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Surviving Infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abuse and infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coping with infidelity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship crisis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship problems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[saving the marriage]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/?p=3160</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[What to Do After the Affair&#8230; Discovering your partner’s infidelity is never easy, and deciding whether or not to stay in the marriage after the affair isn’t any easier. Plenty of couples stay together after infidelity, but then there are &#8230; <a href="https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2012/03/09/after-the-affair-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2 style="text-align: left;">What to Do After the Affair&#8230;</h2>
<p>Discovering your partner’s infidelity is never easy, and deciding whether or not to stay in the marriage after the affair isn’t any easier. Plenty of couples stay together after infidelity, but then there are plenty of couples who break up. This decision lies on you and what you want, but you have to make sure that you are it for the right reasons.</p>
<p>Here are some of the things you need to reflect on. Read the following reasons why some people decide to stay in the marriage and see which on fits your situation best.</p>
<h3>Do you really want to save the marriage after the affair or…?</h3>
<p dir="ltr">1. Do you believe that you are helping him by staying? Are you afraid of what will happen to him or what he might do to others and himself if you leave?</p>
<p dir="ltr">2. Do you feel like there’s nothing more you can do to change his behavior? That all you can do is just to tolerate his actions and let him be? Do you feel that that is what’s best for you to do?</p>
<p dir="ltr">3. Are you afraid that he will hurt you if you leave <strong><a title="after the affair" href="https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/marital-infidelity-archive2sex-after-affair.htm">after the affair</a></strong>? Is your partner violent, or does he have a tendency to be? Are you staying in your relationship because you are afraid for your safety?</p>
<p dir="ltr">4. Are your needs something you don’t, or haven’t, thought about? Have you been so focused on giving your partner and your children the home they deserve, their wants and needs, that you have forgotten to think of your own?</p>
<p dir="ltr">Regardless of the decision you make after the affair, know that you are not alone and this too shall pass.</p>
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			</item>
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		<title>Marriage Myths Dispelled: Part 2</title>
		<link>https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2011/02/25/marriage-myths-dispelled-part-2/</link>
					<comments>https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2011/02/25/marriage-myths-dispelled-part-2/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Dr. Bob Huizenga]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 25 Feb 2011 15:38:31 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Dr. Huizenga's Blog Posts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rebuilding the Marriage or Relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationship Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships: Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships: Sex and Intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage loss of freedom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[marriage myths]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship crisis]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=374</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[Common marriage myths dispelled by Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach. <a href="https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2011/02/25/marriage-myths-dispelled-part-2/">Continue reading <span class="meta-nav">&#8594;</span></a>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/bigstock-Portrait-of-loving-sensuality-41492659.jpg"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-7159" title="P" src="https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/bigstock-Portrait-of-loving-sensuality-41492659.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="399" srcset="https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/bigstock-Portrait-of-loving-sensuality-41492659.jpg 600w, https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/bigstock-Portrait-of-loving-sensuality-41492659-300x199.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px" /></a></p>
<p>Marriage myths continued&#8230;.<a href="https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/2011/02/21/marriage-myths-dispelled-part-1/">Click here</a> to read Part 1.</p>
<p>4. Loving someone is natural and should come easily. Behind this is the idea that one should be able to read the mind of another. What most mean by &#8220;loving&#8221; is having <a href="https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/affair-articlesdrbobromance_overrated.htm">romantic</a>, warm, sexual feelings of attraction. This powerful feeling often happens in the beginning of a relationship. Much of the attraction is physical (we are driven together to mate and procreate.) Some of the attraction is due perhaps to archetypes or images we have of the ideal. (At 14 I dreamt of marrying a brunette. I did when I was 23.) Or it may refer to our need to &#8220;merge&#8221; and be one with another. Love is a huge word &#8211; often inadequate to describe the complexity of what brings us together. And, love is not mind reading. This causes extreme marital stress when one believe s/he is so &#8220;special&#8221; that the other must be able to anticipate his/her thoughts and desires.</p>
<p>5. <a href="https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2012/12/11/marriage-and-loss-of-freedom/">Marriage means I will lose my freedom.</a> The jokes about the loss of freedom at the altar. Bachelor and bachelorette parties are one&#8217;s &#8220;last fling&#8221; so to speak. The ball and chain is put on, and will never be removed. Fun and games are over. Now life gets SERIOUS.</p>
<p>6. I have to get married. This may be going out of date, but in my college days, women went to college to get their Mrs. degree and men were to carve out a career with their new found partner. Or, I had to get married because the biological clock was ticking. Anyone single person over the age of 30 was at some level stigmatized. And, of course, there were the shotgun weddings when the couple was pregnant.</p>
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