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Dr. Bob Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, friend and online colleague, has authored a new e-book, “The First Step in Surviving Infidelity – From Basket Case to Making Your Cheating Spouse Blink.”

If infidelity is staring you in the face, please consider this e-book.

Dr. Huizenga, with a practical, insightful and though-provoking style, is best known for developing a comprehensive method for diagnosing infidelity and implementing specific strategies and tactics for his 7 types of affairs.

This is what he says to you:

Discover or even suspecting infidelity in your marriage or significant relationship and you become a Basket Case.

It is next to impossible to get away from the feelings and thoughts that:

• You think you did something wrong
• You feel assaulted, i.e. raped
• You fear what you might lose
• You feel powerless, helpless
• You were blind-sided
• You feel extremely needy

But, here’s the kicker.

When you are a Basket Case, you are near worthless in saying what you must say to get the best response or doing what you must do to get his/her attention in a positive manner.

Using communication or intervention skills when you are a Basket Case just doesn’t work.

As a matter of fact, you throw away effective skills and default to either wimping out, appeasing, pleading, begging, raging, demanding, etc.

Get the picture?

And, yes, it’s not pretty.

You are not alone. Take heart. In my near 30 years of clinical experience almost everyone reverts to the Basket Case mode.

Your intention is NOT to be a Basket Case. You intention is to get his/her attention EFFECTIVELY and CONSTRUCTIVELY.

This I know.

I’m here to help you QUICKLY throw off Basketcaseitis so you can get on with the business of healing and repairing a broken relationship.

That’s why I’ve written “The First Step in Surviving Infidelity – From Basket Case to Making Your Cheating Spouse Blink.”

Here’s a question: Why does the discovery of infidelity throw you into such a tizzy, more so than anything else you have experienced, bar none?

I cover that in my e-book.

You see, before you get on with skill usage and being effective, you must unlearn or relearn some misunderstandings that abound in our society, that you have been subliminally taught, about love, relationships and infidelity that strike to the core of how you understand yourself, love and your partner.

To the point: you were brainwashed about infidelity. Here’s a sample of what you must unlearn:

Relearning #1:

1. Infidelity means that one person has “fallen out of love” with his/her spouse and fell “in love” with someone else.

Wrong! Infidelity has nothing to do with love.

Relearning #2:

2. Infidelity means something was wrong or lacking in the marriage. (This bogus theory is espoused in much of the therapeutic community – of which I am a part.)

Wrong! What was lacking in your marriage (or you really!) had nothing to do with his/her decision to have an affair.

Relearning #3:

3. Infidelity is despicable and is to be roundly condemned.

Wrong: Infidelity is subtly encouraged in our society. (A survey indicated a high percentage of men envy Tiger Woods!) Why do you think grocery tabloids sell so well?

Relearning #4:

4. There must be something wrong with you that s/he strayed. You must be defective somehow. It is your problem.

Wrong! You are not the problem. S/he has the problem!

Relearning #4:

5. You are the victim and s/he is off having a great time.

Wrong! S/he, in reality, is the victim. “The First Step in Surviving Infidelity – From Basket Case to Making Your Cheating Spouse Blink” explains this reality.

I go to great lengths to reshape your thinking and understanding of infidelity.

Getting your thinking in an appropriate line generates comfort and gives strength and confidence to face the infidelity.

This is the beginning point. What you do, the skills you use, the strategies you employ from that point on DEPEND on an accurate understanding of infidelity.

And, that’s what I want for you – to find comfort and inner strength so you can get on EFFECTIVELY in confronting the infidelity in your relationship.

And, once you begin to see infidelity for what it really is – an act of temporary insanity – you feel relief and are comforted.

Then you move from being a Basket Case to doing exactly what you need to do to survive and then thrive through the infidelity experience.

Here’s some of what you will learn in “The First Step in Surviving Infidelity – From Basket Case to Making Your Cheating Spouse Blink:”

• The Origins of Basketcaseitis and How it Fades
• What You can Do for You that No one else Will
• The Stages in a Marriage and When it is Most Vulnerable to an Affair
• The Value of Thinking Small
• Decision Making
• Why it’s NOT Your Fault
• Stopping the Affair is NOT What You Think
• 8 Places Where you Jump into the Healing Stream

In “The First Step in Surviving Infidelity – From Basket Case to Making Your Cheating Spouse Blink” I’ve categories those questions and provide succinct answers that apply to most situations.

Do you ask any of these:

How Long will the Pain Last?

 

How Do I Get Rid of the Pain?

 

How Do I Stop the Affair?

 

How Do I Get Him/Her to Talk?

 

Do I Confront the Other Person?

 

How Do I Get Rid of the Images?

 

Should We Have Sex?

 

How Do I Confront My Spouse?

 

Will I Ever Trust Again?

 

What if S/he Continues Seeing the Other Person?

 

To help you move, to help you find your comfort so you can pursue a direction, I’ve answered the top 10 questions you SHOULD ask in “The First Step in Surviving Infidelity – From Basket Case to Making Your Cheating Spouse Blink:”

What Type of Affair Do I Face?

 

What Support Do I Need?

 

Must I Protect Myself in Any Way?

 

What Gets Triggered in Me?

 

What Do I Think About in My Worst Moments?

 

What Strategy Should I Employ (for this type of affair?)

 

How Much Do I Tolerate for How Long/

 

Do I REALLY Want to be Married to Him/Her?

What am I Learning About Me?

 

What Patterns Do I Want to Break Free From?

 

Learn from Others Who Have Survived (and thrived)

The impetus to move from Basket Case to a Position of personal power and leverage is accelerated by knowing that others did it before.

And, not only knowing THAT they did it, but HOW they did it.

The faithful users (122 of them!) of my materials graciously consented to take time to tell their stories in “The First Step in Surviving Infidelity – From Basket Case to Making Your Cheating Spouse Blink.”

In short story form they tell of significant shifts that took place with themselves or with their spouse that lead to healing and change.

Don’t waste your time being a Basket Case.

No fun! And, you don’t have to be a Basket Case.

Find your comfort, find your strength now.

Go to: (Enter Affiliate URL)

Oh yes, there are bonus ebooks and materials that accompany “The First Step in Surviving Infidelity – From Basket Case to Making Your Cheating Spouse Blink.”

And, of course there is my standard 30 day money back guarantee.

Don’t spend one more minute feeling your pain.

Don’t spend one more minute allowing the devastating thoughts and images to rule your mind.

That’s not who you really are!!!

Go right now to: (Insert Affiliate URL)

and order “The First Step in Surviving Infidelity – From Basket Case to Making Your Cheating Spouse Blink”

Wishing you comfort, direction and hope.

Dr. Bob Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach

P.S. This e-book will be available for $39.95 for a limited period of time. I’ve developing a 4 level training series and “The First Step in Surviving Infidelity – From Basket Case to Making Your Cheating Spouse Blink” will be part of level 2 which will cost $76.