postpass2 Comments on: 21 Life Lessons from an Infidelity Survivor https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2015/04/07/21-life-lessons-from-an-infidelity-survivor/ How to Survive Infidelity and Extramarital Affairs: Find the Help, Advice and Coaching Your Marriage Needs. Tue, 02 Feb 2021 18:03:05 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.8 By: Pope Bee https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2015/04/07/21-life-lessons-from-an-infidelity-survivor/#comment-245071 Tue, 02 Feb 2021 18:03:05 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/?p=10427#comment-245071 In reply to Rabbit man.

My wife and I are 7 yrs in marriage with two kids, 6 and 3years old. I am currently unemployed and she is just doing small business. I found out that she has being cheating on me with multiple men, I confronted her which she admitted and blamed it on hardship, she promised to change and I forgave her, though it hurts so much. The unfortunate thing is that she has not changed, she is even getting worse, in all these, I have not cheated on her before, what do I do?
I hate divorce, and my young children’s feelings and emotional wealth being is at stake.

]]> By: anthony https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2015/04/07/21-life-lessons-from-an-infidelity-survivor/#comment-184725 Wed, 27 May 2020 09:36:17 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/?p=10427#comment-184725 My husband whom I have been with for 6 years plus has put me through the ringer. Date sites, texting with prostitutes, porn cam girls chat and cameras ect. I mean 500 a month in tokens. He tips women for their bday but forgets me. I know its not in person cheating but it still is painful as hell. There is no remorse, no guilt and no change. What do you think?

]]> By: Anonymous https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2015/04/07/21-life-lessons-from-an-infidelity-survivor/#comment-159606 Fri, 31 Jan 2020 21:55:10 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/?p=10427#comment-159606 In reply to MollyMagee.

I attended Al Anon for over 30 years before I learned about narcissists. What people need to know is that when a narcissist or someone with any other personality disorder gets sober, they still have the personality disorder and it will not go away. The sober narcissist will still have affairs. They will take your money, your sanity, and anything else they can get.

]]> By: Been There https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2015/04/07/21-life-lessons-from-an-infidelity-survivor/#comment-159600 Fri, 31 Jan 2020 18:12:28 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/?p=10427#comment-159600 In reply to Jared.

Hi Jared, it’s been a while since you posted this so I hope you’re in a better place now. Unfortunately all that you were going thru at that time was “normal” and has been called hysterical bonding, where you’re having more sex, spending time together, etc. The issues don’t stem from whether you would be lazy or unhelpful again, the issue is that she needs to dig deeper and find out why she made the choice she did. Until she really gets to the core of the problem, she isn’t helping herself or your relationship. You can certainly do your fair share of things as with any relationship but please know that the choices she made or makes are solely hers and hers alone. We are all lazy from time to time lol and should be able to do that without worry that they will have an affair. The only person you can control is you and you have to make your own happiness, with or without someone in your life. I wish you well and truly hope you’re in a much better place now.

]]> By: Rabbit man https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2015/04/07/21-life-lessons-from-an-infidelity-survivor/#comment-159598 Fri, 31 Jan 2020 17:25:35 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/?p=10427#comment-159598 I am an older male professional with a younger wife. She became involved with a married guy in her age group. I was aware of the attraction but was unprepared for the intimacy that developed. Love’s chemistry being what it is they had secret email accounts and began sexting. At that point I revealed my awareness and the affair gradually fizzled. We have come to confront the issues head on and are much closer in our relationship.
I find lots of whining going on in these emails and would offer this. Bandage your wounds and leave or work it out. Seems like many of the victims are older women who do not have the economic privilege of divorce. I feel for them, but all of this devastation must be dealt with quickly. Emotional flame suppressants are ok, but take a stance and defend your integrity if there is any left. Your personal worth demands it.

]]> By: The Unfaithful https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2015/04/07/21-life-lessons-from-an-infidelity-survivor/#comment-136733 Fri, 05 Jul 2019 17:45:38 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/?p=10427#comment-136733 This is a great list, and I see many that I have put in place but see several that I need to continue working on or start. I spent many years engaging in porn and emotional online affairs but have been clean for a few years and am working on my relationship with my spouse. I’m going to mentally tape this list to my forehead.

]]> By: Sammie https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2015/04/07/21-life-lessons-from-an-infidelity-survivor/#comment-133686 Sat, 23 Mar 2019 20:47:59 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/?p=10427#comment-133686 In reply to Shirley.

Shirley….
Thank you , thank you. I feel the same way. It is NOT always both parties fault. I met my husband of 37 years when I was 13. He has always been a flirty, friendly person. It hurt me over the years but every time I said something I was at fault because I wanted to smother him . Flash forward to last May when I found out he was using drugs, having an affair with a 28 year old who has 3 kids ( he’s 58) and had spent almost $70,000 on his and her habit. He said he did it because the way I talked to him? Really? Ok than go to hell with her and I will live with our young son. For almost 13 years he stayed home and I worked my butt off to support us and save for our retirement. If any of this is my fault I want to know how? I trusted that man with my life and got repaid by this

]]> By: Carol https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2015/04/07/21-life-lessons-from-an-infidelity-survivor/#comment-133654 Sat, 23 Mar 2019 04:24:58 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/?p=10427#comment-133654 . Nine years from first D Day for me (there were many- 15 women in all besides me)- 40+ years of marriage. It's quite a roller coaster. Still learning. I can feel all your pain! Consider yourself hugged:-)]]> I wish everyone here could get together for a huge group hug ❤. Nine years from first D Day for me (there were many- 15 women in all besides me)- 40+ years of marriage. It’s quite a roller coaster. Still learning. I can feel all your pain! Consider yourself hugged:-)

]]> By: Wife Cheated on Me https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2015/04/07/21-life-lessons-from-an-infidelity-survivor/#comment-133626 Fri, 22 Mar 2019 17:38:56 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/?p=10427#comment-133626 In reply to Sarah.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. My wife had a three year affair and it seems like I don’t know her at all sometimes.

I’m trying to work through it because she says he meant nothing, the handful of times they had sex it was really based, he was a terrible kisser, etc. These things do not make me feel any better and raise more questions.

It’s good there are support groups for infidelity cause I can’t do this on my own.

]]> By: Francisco Rosales https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2015/04/07/21-life-lessons-from-an-infidelity-survivor/#comment-129165 Thu, 22 Nov 2018 22:42:34 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/?p=10427#comment-129165 I have a question for you all. My story beggins when I fell in love with someone that cheated on her exhusband, she was devastated because she lost everything. I told her that I would help her as much as possible so she could come out of her depression and said to her that whenever she on top again I would leave. So we started travelling and working together, I paid for her trips to come work and she would keep her paycheck, I was rhere financially, emotionally and in evry aspect of life. I then found out she cheated on me with the same people, I forgave and decided to keep going, the only thing I asked was transparency. Time passed and although she said she had changed I never saw it, I kept asking for transparency and nothing after a while I became verbally abusive (which I regret) and I felt like crap and still do. She finally had the position at work that I had promised, but because she kept hidding her phone and was secretive about it I kept being abusive so I finally decided to leave. I miss her with all my heart, she has not contacted me but to i sult me saying I am evil and that my words ended the relationship. I feel guilty but where is her remorse for hurting me, where was the transparency, did she even loved me?

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