postpass2 Comments on: Details of the Affair: Why Isn’t He/She Telling Me? https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2012/05/08/details-of-the-affair-why-isn%e2%80%99t-heshe-telling-me/ How to Survive Infidelity and Extramarital Affairs: Find the Help, Advice and Coaching Your Marriage Needs. Tue, 25 Apr 2017 08:46:00 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.8 By: Deb https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2012/05/08/details-of-the-affair-why-isn%e2%80%99t-heshe-telling-me/#comment-113993 Tue, 25 Apr 2017 08:46:00 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/?p=3640#comment-113993 Help! I am one of those betrayed spouses whose imagination will fill in the blanks if I don’t get some very basic facts and details. Besides, I want to know what I am dealing with: was it about sex, or was there another kind of or degree of closeness with the affair partner that I might find threatening to my security in the relationship? Because my spouse had an affair with an ex, I also want to know, so I can understand better, how after all our years together, my spouse could just settle right into an ease and comfort level with someone else — especially someone with whom my spouse had a dysfunctional and even toxic relationship with. Why would she want to spend time with someone who hurt her in the past? And finally, one question I ask over and over but will never likely hear the answer to is: How do I deal with the fact that she says she never once acted on her knowledge that the affair was wrong? She knew it would end, and she knew it was wrong, but she never took any steps to stop it. This hurts very much. All the reasons she says she knew it would have to end, I wasn’t one of them. Time, money, convenience, even the changing seasons — but not one thought to ending it because it was damaging to me and our marriage. This feels personal, and I am wondering what I am missing in evaluating what I do know about the affair that I can not understand this.

]]>