postpass2 Comments on: Infidelity: Get Your Cheating Spouse to Notice Your Power by Charging Neutral https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2011/01/20/345/ How to Survive Infidelity and Extramarital Affairs: Find the Help, Advice and Coaching Your Marriage Needs. Wed, 23 Dec 2020 16:34:51 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.8 By: Meghan https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2011/01/20/345/#comment-235237 Wed, 23 Dec 2020 16:34:51 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=345#comment-235237 Think has been hard for us for the longest time. for three years my husband says he does not want a sexual relationship. It takes allot of bagging from me for one moment of 1 minute of passion this is usually once every after every two months. When I ask why he wont even try he says I just have not had sex in a long time. When i offer me frequently he says oh my god not this again.
Mother-in-law tells me I hate you and you going this year without fail. His two brothers and sister also tell me we hate you. We have been married for 25 years with two girls that are known, adults. I feel depressed and confused.
When we are with friends he says jokes like help me get this stone out of my house I don’t have the courage to do it myself. I am totally devastated what’s worse your girl the age of our daughter has been calling him regular she is the daughter of a friend know all our friends are hostile towards me
PLEASE BE HONEST I HAVE NO FRIENDS AND NO FAMILY TO REALLY TELL ALL THIS
WHAT AM I NOT SEEING ???
I AM I IN DENIAL

]]> By: michele https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2011/01/20/345/#comment-234515 Sun, 20 Dec 2020 15:18:29 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=345#comment-234515 Is there a specialized training for how to do Charging Neutral? I guess I am looking for in depth examples and understanding vs. a simple definition.

]]> By: stephanie https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2011/01/20/345/#comment-137088 Thu, 18 Jul 2019 17:12:48 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=345#comment-137088 In reply to Nan.

sounds like my husband
he calls his sex addiction

]]> By: L https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2011/01/20/345/#comment-137042 Wed, 17 Jul 2019 17:00:34 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=345#comment-137042 In reply to Derek Nash.

Other than the fact that it is my husband, your story sounds exactly like mine. I don’t know for a fact that they have consummated the relationship (I get the “she’s just a friend” line). I too understand marriage to be something you don’t just walk away from. It’s heartbreaking. I love my husband. The crazy thing is I think he loves me. But he blames his unhappiness on me and can’t see a way to get over al the hurt.

]]> By: Ann https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2011/01/20/345/#comment-137038 Wed, 17 Jul 2019 15:18:03 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=345#comment-137038 In reply to Nan.

I absolutely agree with Nan…my husband is just the one she describes!!

]]> By: Matthew https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2011/01/20/345/#comment-115520 Fri, 30 Jun 2017 11:12:22 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=345#comment-115520 The right Q is not ‘why cheating?’ but ‘why not?!’

On one hand, almost all people naturally like Sex and diversity. On the other hand, there is most probably another person better than our partner in at least one aspect logically. Therefore, cheating is normal and almost all have had the experience somehow (as telling a lie!)

But ‘why DO NOT some people cheat (or lie)?

In contrast to all other creatures, human needs morals for his prosperity otherwise mankind behaves much wilder than any ‘wild’ animal.

We are the only part of the universe who are able to act out of the norm. That’s why we creat controversy norms to live safer.

]]> By: Phil https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2011/01/20/345/#comment-115503 Thu, 29 Jun 2017 23:52:43 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=345#comment-115503 Thank you everyone for posting your experiences in your marriages. My wife and I are golden, on paper, but in everyday life are in a dead marriage. This has occurred during the last 5 years (married since 2010), and began falling apart after the birth of our second child. So 1st thing: kids wreck marriages! 2nd thing: we did not undergo any pre- marriage counseling (we are not religious, and the only kind of pre- marriage counseling is through churches), and we did not create any sort of marriage agreement. Our wedding vows were vague, and did not address what our expectations and boundaries were/ are. My wife’s actions, behavior, and attitude the last 2 years or so suggest she is having an affair(s). She has never admitted to it, and I have no proof of affair. Stuck in dead marriage. But I have been researching marriage and relationships, and am taking action to address the issue. Bottom line: we are at a fork in the road. Either we take the high road and remake our marriage to mutual benefit, or she can move out and be divorced. I am not perfect, just uneducated about how to have a happy, healthy marriage (but I’m learning!). I know what I want, and we are going to a mediator soon to discuss going forward. I wish all of us in troubled marriages the best possible outcomes! If separation/ divorce happens, sorry, but we all go on. I appreciate all of the comments.

]]> By: G https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2011/01/20/345/#comment-115497 Thu, 29 Jun 2017 20:41:08 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=345#comment-115497 In reply to Derek Nash.

I have the exact same issue. I. Fact I’m surprised to see somebody with almost exactly the same problem. I have had counseling for 7 months now(about the length of her on going affair with the OM) and I realized a lot of her feelings came from me making her feel inadequate. She did everything for me at one point and I really did act entitled to that treatment. Over time she just got tired of it. She is very passive aggressive. So she isnt very direct at communicating things. And if she is direct she will say something one time. I’m not sure I I can get her back but I know the OM makes her feel special. She is totally disconnected with me and makes no effort to patch things up. We are In counseling together but the only thing this counselor cover is why she is disconnected from me. This makes her feel justified in seeing the OM because he makes her “happy”. It almost feels like the counselor enjoys seeing me take 100% blame. She clearly has a hard time looking at the cause of my behavior to her. That is, my anger towards myself is what really cuss me to be unappreciative to her. She really didn’t do too much except she wants willing to push me into the marriage like she is willing to push me out. Seems like now that she found a man for now that excepts her for who she is- she feels safe. But he doesn’t hav to deal wiTh the bills or the special needs child.. he just gets to do the fun part. The pet I cannot ignore. So it’s like she lives the life of a teenager which is dating and being with a new sex partner when she pleases. And she claims this is what her counselors are telling her to do because it makes her happy. If I thought like that we wouldn’t have made it as girlfriend and boyfriend. Point is she hasn’t got to the part in which she takes accountability nor understands why she step out on the marriage just weeks after separation.

]]> By: Some guy https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2011/01/20/345/#comment-115492 Thu, 29 Jun 2017 15:55:47 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=345#comment-115492 In reply to Derek Nash.

First off – being a non-perfect husband is no excuse. BTW there are no perfect husbands or wives either.

second – The affair is about HER not YOU. She could have chosen differently but didn’t. That is ALL ON HER! Don’t let her blame you for HER actions.

]]> By: Bruce https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2011/01/20/345/#comment-111254 Fri, 16 Dec 2016 14:31:31 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=345#comment-111254 I did NOT CAUSE GET TO HAVE AN AFFAIR. She did that part ALL by herself.

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