postpass2 Comments on: Infidelity Fears Exist Under Your Pain and Agony Once You Bump Into D-Day (day of discovery) https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2010/03/11/infidelity-fears-exist-under-your-pain-and-agony-once-you-bump-into-d-day-day-of-discovery/ How to Survive Infidelity and Extramarital Affairs: Find the Help, Advice and Coaching Your Marriage Needs. Mon, 08 Jun 2020 07:29:37 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.8 By: Steve https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2010/03/11/infidelity-fears-exist-under-your-pain-and-agony-once-you-bump-into-d-day-day-of-discovery/#comment-187544 Mon, 08 Jun 2020 07:29:37 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=100#comment-187544 In reply to Franco Aquino Oropesa.

I agree with you too, the other man is different and I lied to myself to help myself cope with it at the time. Maybe its too painful for everyone to attempt that, but it did help me and maybe it can help someone else.

Like all marriages going through problems, they are all unique and different and all require a different and tailored solution…

]]> By: Deana https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2010/03/11/infidelity-fears-exist-under-your-pain-and-agony-once-you-bump-into-d-day-day-of-discovery/#comment-187290 Sun, 07 Jun 2020 09:23:46 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=100#comment-187290 Not sure where to start
My husbands 34 year old moved to out start and couldn’t pay her bills so we where helping her,money in money out we have had helped family and kids for 90 % of the eight years of our marriage
I started noticing he would come home and just fight with me for really no reason
He would stay at the gym for hours and I was still working never knew when he was really off work!
In January he said he was losing sleep worrying about his daugther that he signed a lease and is moving in to help her he said u make good money u will be fine ?!
He told me it 50% is and 50% his daugther
So he stayed til feb 1 and moved out while he said were working on our marriage,this was the start of Covid i would see him off and on something didn’t feel right so I started to lessen the visits,in April I had a gut feeling that I had to be at a certain place and I went there(it was a park) I was with my daugther and granddaughter with me we where walking and who came in the opposite direction holding another women’s hand? But my husband I was frozen couldn’t talk as he past me by like nothing and looked at the ground all I could say in an angry tone was hello jerry !!!
I went straight to my car
The next day I got a call from him saying I’m glad it’s out and I want to work on our marriage I’m done with her! I’m so sorry
I thought sence I wasn’t really talking to him much it was my fault although we where still sleeping together,he said he never slept with her and he met her at his work but a month after we where apart he was having a lot of drama with the living situation with his daugther and wanted to come hone and work on us.
I found out he was in POF,tender,our time,
But he insist it was all done he swore he never slept with her,so I agreeded we would work on it ,too weeks later I found out that during an argument with his Daugther on the phone she threatened to tell me about her, he had told them we weren’t seeing each other , big hurt but we were trying to repair our marriage I figured since we where apart some How and I wasn’t seeing him as much maybe he felt he had to move on
,so today I found out that in January he was seeing her for coffee and she was separated bad thing is he told his brother that she’s making him wait u assumed it was for him to leave me before sleeping with him in his email to his brother he tells them she had sleep with anyone in too years!!!!!
Of course I confronted him this information has all been coming together like a puzzle and not by him telling me but by me finding out
I asked to see his ohine and he knew up its my phone I noticed he deleted all email and went the next day to get a new in.
He says we already talked and he’s 100% commuted but just how much now?!
I told him I think its better he moves out that he never was forth coming only when I found out this gas involved all his kids and brothers , his Daugther wants him to iown his part to there lease because he choose to do this and I want nothing
There’s so many people that knew about all this but me although they didn’t know the whole truth!!!!!

]]> By: Sean https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2010/03/11/infidelity-fears-exist-under-your-pain-and-agony-once-you-bump-into-d-day-day-of-discovery/#comment-135551 Sun, 19 May 2019 01:06:20 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=100#comment-135551 In reply to Steve.

Thank you for the advice, and now I know what I have to do. Thank you.

]]> By: Deborah https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2010/03/11/infidelity-fears-exist-under-your-pain-and-agony-once-you-bump-into-d-day-day-of-discovery/#comment-135547 Sat, 18 May 2019 23:11:16 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=100#comment-135547 In reply to John.

My husband had an affair with a co worker from 2001-2007. I found out about her in 2007. He said she was just a friend, poor, bad marriage and he felt sorry for her. I accepted most of that at that time. In 2012 during my routine Obgyn exam my doctor tested me for HPV as a routine test. That test came back positive. For the next 3 years I lived in Hell. I constantly tried to get my husband to tell me the truth. He lied, argued, screamed, put his hand on the Bible and swore that they were only friends, threw things in the house, etc, etc., until on the way to a funeral wake he confessed that they had been having a sexual affair for 3 of those years; the first 3 were just “friends talking on the phone every evening before I got home from work”. My daughter caught them; he told her the conversation was “work related.” I will never trust or believe him again like I once did. He and my children were my whole life; I did work full time; still put dinner on the table every night, Kept a clean house, did all the shopping because he “didn’t like to go since he spent his days in stores as a soft drink vendor” kept myself in good shape physically. I gained 20 lbs and a belly a few years after my second daughter was born. He doesn’t like overweight women; used to call them “mooses”. I guess the handwriting was on the wall for me. My “baby belly” was my badge of honor for having 2 large babies; hubby didn’t see it that way. We are still together but my life is changed forever.

]]> By: MJ https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2010/03/11/infidelity-fears-exist-under-your-pain-and-agony-once-you-bump-into-d-day-day-of-discovery/#comment-135535 Sat, 18 May 2019 13:48:23 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=100#comment-135535 I’m reading all these comments .I too was left by my cheating husband at the age of 50,he was 51.The difference is, the product of his 6 year affair is that they have a 17 yr old child.We have two beautiful children together who no longer speak to him .I forgave him and took him back after the affair and 11years later he left for them. Devastating to me and my children. Ruined financially, emotionally.Has anyone else dealt with the same?

]]> By: Tabitha https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2010/03/11/infidelity-fears-exist-under-your-pain-and-agony-once-you-bump-into-d-day-day-of-discovery/#comment-126139 Fri, 10 Aug 2018 14:48:09 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=100#comment-126139 In reply to D.

I completely agree that you two NEED to talk anout this affair! It is vital to the healing process!

]]> By: D https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2010/03/11/infidelity-fears-exist-under-your-pain-and-agony-once-you-bump-into-d-day-day-of-discovery/#comment-126136 Fri, 10 Aug 2018 12:48:53 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=100#comment-126136 In reply to Doug.

I have wonder if you can love someone and cheat too. You have to know how much you will hurt them. My husband was very angry with me during his affair. I think finding fault with me justified his actions. The betrayal hurts forever. I think it hurts him too. I do think he loves me.

]]> By: D https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2010/03/11/infidelity-fears-exist-under-your-pain-and-agony-once-you-bump-into-d-day-day-of-discovery/#comment-126135 Fri, 10 Aug 2018 12:28:49 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=100#comment-126135 In reply to Felipe.

I relate to much of you are saying. It did not last as long as your situation but my husband acted like that for several years after his parents passed. It was really difficult because he did have an affair many years before and this brought it all back. It ended when I told him if it did not I was gone. You made a vow but do not allow this. Take a stand. This is a terrible example for your children.

]]> By: D https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2010/03/11/infidelity-fears-exist-under-your-pain-and-agony-once-you-bump-into-d-day-day-of-discovery/#comment-126134 Fri, 10 Aug 2018 12:17:57 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=100#comment-126134 In reply to Paul.

I am so sorry. I have lived with the pain of a past affair and latter lies, drinking, staying out … even when the are trying you still have pain, feel rejected, unlovable. I too want feel safe, and close to my only love. I wonder if I am a fool.

]]> By: D https://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/2010/03/11/infidelity-fears-exist-under-your-pain-and-agony-once-you-bump-into-d-day-day-of-discovery/#comment-126133 Fri, 10 Aug 2018 12:06:08 +0000 http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/blog/?p=100#comment-126133 In reply to John.

I know what you are saying. Years later it comes back. My husband does not understand why sorry doesn’t remove the pain or replace trust. You are left wondering why they chose someone else and why they are trying to stay with you. Is it because they feel guilty, because of children, because they don’t want anyone to know. Your wife may not understand why she had the affair. Maybe excitement, or fear.

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