Surviving Infidelity Series: You Can Overcome Infidelity
The day I found out is a day I will never forget. I came across some emails, one worse than the other. I decided to cut and paste them and email them to my husband so that when he logged on to email her, it would be my email he would see. I was downstairs and he came down looking as if he wanted to be anywhere but in front of me. He told me he had read my forwarded email and he was devastated, embarrassed and so sorry. We talked that night for a very long time. I needed to have the details. I knew I loved him and to be honest, the shock of it all kept me level headed. I was calm and asked all the questions I needed answers to. And he answered, one by one. I told him this was his only chance to come clean, and he did. He told me that he loved me and that she was a terrible mistake. It was at that moment that I decided I was going to work at trying to save whatever we might still have…and that meant I needed to try and put the pain of it all aside. Over the next few weeks, I walked miles and lost tons of weight. He and I talked every night. Sometimes we cried together and often times we shared a silent hug. The talking was good. And I think he was a bit thrown by my control. So was I. It has been 7 months since I found out and in that time we have vacationed together, taken long walks together and we have spent endless hours just being in each others company. On the day that I found out about the extramarital affair, he ended his 5 month relationship. I recently asked him what made him decide that she wasn’t worth it and he said that when he was faced with the chance of losing me and our family, he knew at that moment what he had done was so wrong. I believe he knew that all along. But I guess sometimes in life even good people make very bad choices. So far, we are more in love than ever before. Ya see, one thing that I learned is that to be married and stay married is work. All to often we go about our lives totally unaware of the things that are most precious to us. So now, we kiss every morning and we kiss every afternoon and in between, there are many I love you’s and hugs…we call each other during the day…and we are connected, again. And at night, we kiss all over again. Will I ever forget what he did? No. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t go forward and have a wonderful life. Good people make bad mistakes. I chose to find forgiveness for his infidelity and that was a very good decision thus far. After 33 years of marriage, I am looking forward to many, many more with the man I love.