Infidelity and Affair: How to Meet 8 Conditions

Feature Article
How to Meet 8 Conditions

Feature Article
How to Meet 8 Conditions

Here are 8 conditions or situations that most people discovering infidelity in their marriage want or need, but may not be aware of what they really want and need or how to get it. Once I list the 8 conditions or situations, I will explain how a significant number of those suffering the agony of infidelity attain these states.

1. You want to feel relief. The agony, the disturbing images, and the powerfully negative thoughts won't let you go. You want a respite from the agony, even for a few hours.

2. You want to focus on solutions for the infidelity. You feel internally like a leaf blowing in the wind and you want sound strategies that will be proactive and put you in control. You want direction.

3. You want your confidence back. You want to generate emotional and mental strength that will make it possible to create the life and relationship you truly want.

4. You want the healing, the cessation of the affair and the movement toward resolution to go faster. Much faster. You refuse to wait around for time to heal (which it won't.)

5. You want to use new words and phrases. You want to speak with more power. You want to speak so s/he HEARS you. You want to speak with power to influence the flow of the relationships around you.

6. You want to feel more calm. You want to know that you are not crazy. You want to hear someone say to you or affirm that you are still normal. You want to look beyond the surface behavior of you and your spouse and encounter the positive intentions behind the actions and words.

7. You want expert advice from a professional with experience who "gets it". You want access to sage advice and wisdom that looks beyond the obvious.

8. You know that you must go where you have not been before. You know you must try on new patterns of speaking, feeling and thinking that will propel you through the infidelity and open new worlds for you. You are ready for that, although somewhat frightened.

These 8 conditions represent a summary of the feedback I've received from those I've coached via phone.

Coaching for many has proven a powerful tool that results in these conditions being created faster, effectively and with staying power.

Lives have been changed. Relationships saved. Relationships ended with integrity. Decisions made with clarity and finality. Power given back to individuals, couples and marriages. New path ways to healing, reconciliation and the future forged with conviction.

You might find that coaching will create these conditions for you.

Take Advantage of New Opportunity

Please know, that as a request from many, I've set up a one-session, half-hour coaching session. If you are financially pinched, this will meet your needs.

Go to: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/coach.htm, scroll down and sign up for the 1 session offer at the bottom of the Coaching Offers Table for a session with either Jeryl or me.

Signing up is easy. We can usually begin the session within a week. Take advantage of this opportunity.

Or, if you purchase "Break Free From the Affair" you automatically receive a free 15 minute phone consultation with me.

Here are some short uncensored comments from those I've recently coached:

I posed the question: 1. List 2-3 benefits you received from your coaching relationship.

***Confirmation or validation of thoughts/feelings and the relief of being able to discuss the situation with a professional. Assistance with "breaking free from the affair" and the lessening of pain in reading the Breaking Free eBook & 4 Coaching sessions. General guidance in the difficult situation.

***support from someone who gets it -availability -great resource material that has become a bible

***Helped gain my emotional & mental strength 2) better prepared mentally for what happens next, what might happen next 3)Helped me better understand & possibly interpret what what was said during conversations/email/arguments with spouse.

***It was good to bounce off feelings and thoughts. Most important to me was the "feeling" that I was being supported by an expert in the field. As I reacted to my wife's affair it was valuable to check in and see how I compared to others and to get advice.Were my reactions valid?

***I felt that the coach had a great deal of empathy with me and helped me to feel calm. 2. I became more 'empowered' with my situation and adapted my behavior according to the type of affair I was dealing with. 3. My approach with my husband became less confrontational as I adopted 'charging neutral' and 'step over nothing' methods with him.

***I was able to stay more focused. There were issues I really wanted to discuss with my husband, but couldn't. However, I could bring them up during coaching sessions, and we could actually talk (with bob's help of course).

***The one benefit that I didn't expect was the anticipation of my coaching appointment. It felt like the days between could be handled with what I had learned as I had a destination point to look forward to. Also, when I would talk through different situations, the re-enforcement that Bob would give me about the actual power that I didn't realize I was using, gave me the freedom to acknowledge and accept that power so it grew and was even more a part of me.

***I felt more confident as I moved through the situation I was dealing with. 2. I felt more in control and more proactive in the situation. I had tools to deal with my husband and even phrases to say which helped me deliver what I needed to say. The idea of charging neutral was very effective. 3. I appreciated the listening aspect of your coaching and you are very good at reiterating and more clearly defining what I said. I found it most helpful though when you would offer your insight on the situation. I know you can't predict what will happen but using your experience to tell me what you see happening in my husbands actions and words helped me to see it better. Sometimes the glimmers of hope that I have get in the way of seeing the bigger picture clearly.

***It was really great to have someone with so much experience so easily available to provide support and CONCRETE suggestions

***It was the understanding and listening and letting me know that I was doing all I could do and it wasn't my fault. 2. someone to suggest things to do and say to them. 3. Someone I could lean on and knew I was good person and not nuts like they try to make you believe, and I had good morals in life and truly caring person and what kind of life I wanted from a Husband.

***Understanding that I was not alone. Could be told what was "normal."

***1.insight 2.someone with knowledge of how to get me to figure out what I want to do and how to go about it 3. the exact words to share with my partner to express what I was trying to say. this was especially helpful as I was trying to do the work needed to successfully confront our problem.

***Helped me understand my wife's personality type and why she was behaving as she was gave me confidence and strategies to realize there was life after my wife's leaving me Helped me to accept that I had done all I could to save the marriage but that sometimes despite this you cannot alter what the other person is.