Infidelity Quickie #7: Three Years and Counting
by Dr. Robert Huizenga - The Infidelity Coach

Learn from these real life extramarital affair coaching scenarios.

In the first section the person struggling with the marital infidelity summarizes the scenario or concern and what he/she would like to say to his/her cheating spouse.

I then outline some goals that help him/her break free from the affair.

The last and important section gets at shifting the focus away from the spouse/partner to him/her self. In other words, what does all this mean for the person on the receiving end of an extramarital affair? After that mental shift (which is NOT easy for someone in the pain and turmoil of perhaps losing one's spouse, family, and home) I, the coach, offer phrases that he/she can relay to his/her spouse in a way that speaks directly of his/her concern and has the best chance of being heard and getting positive results.

Section 1: The "offended spouse" says:

I spend more time by myself, thinking about myself. I do not trust my partner yet after 3 years. I think about my partner’s affair daily. I stay for my children’s sake.

Section 2: Personal goals suggested by the coach

• Continue spending time in reflection. Keep a journal, if you like to write. Give some structure to your thinking, so you can see movement.

For the remainder of this article and more...