An Emotional Infidelity Cheating Scenario…
Please read this real life story of a couple who is working very hard to overcome emotional infidelity cheating:
“While I was away for 3 weeks, my husband fell rapidly “in love” with a younger woman at work who had everything to gain from him. He had a new sense of youth and value that our 30 years together could not match. I sensed it after only a few weeks back, maybe even earlier. Whenever he said he would leave me for her, I backed off and said, okay we better start making legal and logistical plans. He never seemed to be able to make the jump when I was practical like that, but when I was crying and upset, he was ready to leave. In the end, he stayed with her for one week and then I called and said he had to come home or leave forever. He came home and we have been working hard to come back together for the past year.”
Dr. Huizenga’s thoughts on emotional infidelity cheating:
This is a great example of how to handle an emotional affair. I call this type of affair the, “I Fell out of Love… and just love being in love” kind of affair in my ebook, Break Free From the Affair.
The person having the affair usually lacks an internal compass and is hooked by his/her feelings; doesn’t grasp the need system underlying the feelings and feels lost and confused.
The wounded spouse “backing off” refuses therefore to buy into the drama of intense feelings that often hook the person looking for “love.” Backing off usually takes away some of the “juice” that fuels the emotional affair. After all, the emotional affair is the stuff that soap operas are made of. Stop playing the game and the game no longer is a game that stimulates.
This person also used a skill I call contextualize. Calling attention to the reality of the possibility of the breakup of the marriage and family often is a sobering thought for the person looking for that “love.” It enables the cheating spouse to see or feel beyond the glands and hormones.