The KEY Question You Ask and MUST have Answered even though you probably don't know you are asking it What's the KEY to surviving an affair and eventually moving beyond it with a sense of relief and increasing joy? Well, when the agony and betrayal of the affair envelops you and soaks into every cell of your body, mind and spirit, there is one question that you ask. You ask it over and over again. And, you are probably not aware that you are asking it. It resides just below the surface of your thoughts. But, believe me it's there. You want it answered. I was coaching someone recently and she "got it." We touched on the core of this question. There was silence. And then muffled tears. They were tears of relief, not sadness, agony or resentment. Her breathing slowed. She reached down and realized this was the question. She received the answer - if just for that moment. Don't muddle in the affair. I've heard, counseled and seen countless people unwilling to shake the memories, the images, the rage and sense of helplessness. A cauldron of anger lies just below the surface and is easily ignited. On edge, unwilling to give and welcome. Reluctant to EVER trust themselves to another person again. Their life of quiet desperation goes on and on and on... They avoided, ignored, never faced the question and therefore received no answer, no relief, no joy. You see, I know what the question is. It's not because I have a doctorate, am smarter, wiser or a guru. I walked blindly for years. And then I walked through the valley. The question kept emerging. I would push it away until it no longer would tolerate my blindness. And, then I got it. Partially at first and then exponentially the fog was lifted. For the remainder of this article and more...
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