Infidelity Recovery for a Relationship: A HUGE Problemby Dr. Bob Huizenga, the infidelity coach There is much information out there about the skills you need to rebuild a relationship after infidelity or other crisis. But, there's a prior concern. Powerful emotional and cognitive (thinking) barriers exist that get in the way of using those skills. Your intentions may be good, but eye-ball to eye-ball reality brings tension. The use of your new found skills evaporates and you shrink back to the negative patterns that create mistrust and distance. Here's the problem: "How in the world do you and your partner get on the same page and begin remaking your relationship after the ton of hurt and distance you have experienced through the extramarital affair or other crisis? I asked my clients to list 3-4 barriers that keep the two of you apart and stall the healing process. I had over 9 pages of barriers that they listed. But, from that long I clearly was able to discern recurring themes. Below are listed 3 HUGE problems: 1. You try (very hard) but you don't get much. You ask questions. You probe. You want to know where he/she stands. You want more information. You want and need reassurance...but you don't get it. It seems that the more you try, the more He/she pulls away in his/her typical manner. For the remainder of this article and more... |
This article is part of a series of articles written by Dr. Huizenga. He responds in practical and heart-felt ways to pressing issues such as:
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