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Infidelity Excuse: I Fell Out of Love...and just love being in love
by Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach I find this dilemma rather common for younger couples, probably mid or late 30s and younger. Usually one reports, “falling out of love” and is truly disturbed by this shift. He/she (and this is not merely a female problem!) wants to “recapture” those feelings. This person has found a “significant other” who has stirred those dormant feelings and this person once again “feels in love.” They are determined not to “settle” for a less than an ideal relationship, which means, of course, feeling the love feelings. Here are some Key Points for this kind of affair. (The 6 others are outlined in my E-book.) 1. Unfortunately, our culture (movies, songs, romance novels, soap operas, romance comedies) teaches us that this is how it’s supposed to be. “Falling in love” is the norm – the implication being, that if it doesn’t happen, or if it goes away, something is wrong – with you, your spouse or the marriage. A good relationship must first unlearn a great deal. 2. The person who was driven to find “that loving feeling” (reminds me of a song…) usually experiences a high degree of guilt and conflict. He/she is often married to a “good” person and the desire to “find that loving feeling” seems selfish (which it is) and immature (which it is). Intuitively (and this person usually has a great deal of intuition and sensitivity) it is known at another level that he/she is not on the right path. 3. This person usually has a need for drama and excitement. Life easily becomes a soap opera. Emotional juice from the fall-out of emotionally intense relationships reigns rather than living life from the core of who one is. For the remainder of this article and more...
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